I'm always telling people that they have to let go of the past, but seriously, I replay everything in my head over and over again. I should probably eat my words then lol But the good thing about rethinking stuff is that I have these small realizations and then other things about myself start to make sense. Or sometimes, I remember stuff that I've completely forgotten about. That isn't always a good thing, but it can be rewarding if I put the memory into good use. Lately, I've been reflecting on why I'm so closed up about making friends or just trying to let someone know I'm interested in them. I guess my past relationships make me feel like nothing is worth trying for and that makes me sad, honestly. I wasn't always like this, I used to want to be more of the "I can talk my way through anything" kind of person. I have talked my way through a lot of things lol But I'm just not that girl anymore. Nothing is important, people are worthless, I feel completely alone and I don't know how many times I've said that being alone is just ******** terrifying. Society was poison for my mind and I know I can't blame everything on the universe, but what else was the cause? What else could've changed me so much? Was it lack of love or contamination? If I keep thinking about it, I'll either figure it out or I'll just end up having an episode. Whichever comes first.
Sincerely,
Kat
P.S
Taking Time For All The Wrong Things - Jonny Craig
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