I have no idea what's going on lately. It's like everyone I care about is kind of just fading out of my life. Some people tell me that that'll happen and that people don't stay forever, especially if they don't really care much for you. But the thing is, these people said they cared for me sooo much. So now I'm just like "Were they lying? Am I just gullible?" Makes me not want to trust anybody, or even talk to anyone. What's the point of making friends if no one's going to stay with you anyway? If you're telling someone that you care for them, mean it. Don't leave. Unless they're purposefully hurting you or going behind your back or just not showing much love back. But if they're a good friend to you, why leave? Why even care in the first place if it'll be so easy to walk away? Maybe I should just live in a cave by myself. Then, I won't have to ask all of these stupid, unanswered questions. Maybe I should just stop caring too. Even though its so unlike me, I should try it. It seems to be a trend that never goes away. Anyway, I can say that I'm extremely hurt. I don't really know how else to put it. My heart seems a little more shattered than shaken. These are one of those times when I ask myself if suicide will help anything. Probably not, but it gets me away from everything and I wouldn't have to feel like this anymore. But I can't think of myself, its like pretty much impossible for me. I try really hard to be selfish sometimes and its almost like I literally can't. Maybe I need more practice. I'm sure there are a lot of people I know or once knew that could give me some lessons.
Sincerely,
Kat.
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The Lost Story of Kat
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