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How have you changed you ask? I suppose that's a good question.

The most basic thing I can say is when I talk to you, you don't act like you did before. Everything about is so Bri's view > my own. We don't even talk about the things we did before, which is fine, there's always a new need to change topics, but at least those topics had a very distinct... characteristic in them? I'm not really sure what to call this characteristic, but you should know exactly what I'm talking about. It's not there anymore.

Neither of us really feel the need to reach out to one another anymore, we can go weeks without talking and whenever we do, all we do is argue. I've had friendships that consisted merely of arguing, they quickly became things of the past. I'm not looking for someone to debate my life decision's with, if I was, even then they wouldn't be my best friend.

You can be bitter and think I picked up rapping for Luis, but it was at random. Yes, I knew he was a rapper, but I knew he rapped long before the idea of rapping came to me. Do you know how the idea of ME rapping was conceived? Let me tell you, so you don't ever get this confused for doing it because he does it EVER again.

John: I don't want to graduate high school. I just want a record deal.
Kaitlin: What do you mean you don't wanna graduate?!
John: Idk, I just wanna rap and be famous.
Kaitlin: Oh! That sounds like fun, but you should still graduate John...
John: Hm, maybe.
Kaitlin: But we should start a rap group it'd be fun!
John: Let's.

Not exactly word for word but this is how it was conceived. Not a damn thing to do with Luis. Now my raps have very little to do with John as well, but I've found something that makes me happy, I appreciate you're apology, but don't scoff about it anymore. I told you I won't show you my music, I think I've complied nicely with that.

As for "forgetting" you should know better than anyone that still haunts me to this day. But what I'm getting into isn't with the same guy, things are different and though they may appear to be the same to you, everything I see isn't a reflection of the past. I've always been taught to "love like you've never been hurt." That's what I do. It may seem reckless, but how else is anyone going to get a fair chance in life?

I even admitted to changing, if you notice. Everyone does. Things shift and get rearranged in life, I have no control over that. I'm not sure how my priorities have changed, I just know that the stuff I'm currently battling is heavy. I've tried to clue you in on things, but I'm sure they've slipped your mind time and time again. It's hard to say you lost me, versus let me go though. I've constantly tried and tried to get back into a good place with you, but that just wasn't going to happen, I see.

Funny you take half now, when before you were so adamant on it being all my fault a week ago. I'm sure by now you know four months ago is dead. I'm not even sure how I was four months, let alone how to bring it back. Can't even tell you how you were four months ago, other than better than this.

"Now we're lying about the nights, hiding it all behind the smiles. Take a look at what you did."