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Them girls, they just wanna take my money
They don't want me to give you nothing
They don't want you to have nothing
They don't wanna see me find your lovin'

I've been thinking about how much will change in the next year, as I move onto chapter twenty-two and emerge victorious from chapter twenty-one.

I realize many of the people in my life who have been around, haven't actually witnessed my transformation, from the ashes to a phoenix once more.

Will twenty-two ensure that I am able to live the beautiful life I've been fighting for, or will it ensure my impending doom?

People always tell me I'm crazy for knowing that I'm going to die at a young age, but its hard to explain.
Death is going to be everyone's demise, ultimately, but its going to visit me much sooner than anyone else.

I'm not suicidal, I just know that happily ever after was never in the cards for me. I'm grateful for my miscarriage, because I realize it would be unfair to have a child and leave them so unexpectedly in this world.

Do you hate me for knowing that soon enough I'll have to leave you, too? I don't know.

I hate my life some days, and other days I'm so completely infatuated with it. It surely doesn't make sense.

Who knows what I'm going to do with myself.