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"All of my "let's just be friends" are friends I don't have anymore
How do you not check on me when things go wrong
Guess I should've tried to keep my family closer"

Another year older, that's where I'll be in a mere two days.
And though I may not feel it, I know things have changed.

Does getting older mean things become less exhilarating? Are we doomed to lose the zest for life that encourages us to strive forward?

Have I really lost that sense of passion, of urgency, that hopefulness?
Why do I even ask, when I know the answer, yes, yes I have.

And nobody can turn back time. Here I am, numbly going forward into the unknown, telling myself that I can see the future clear as I can see yesterday.

Will I ever find love, will I ever find success?
Will I ever stop being the waste of space that I feel like I've become?

Does anyone believe in me anymore, in the dreams that I have held high for so long?
Am I doomed if I need someone to hold my hand and genuinely believe that I can do the things I talk about?

Codependency is a disease, and we're all kind of inflicted by it.
Having people around sounds so much better than being in solitary confinement of working toward your better tomorrow.

Am I willing to give up my budding social life and focus on my future once more?
Who wants to be seventy and alone, though? And it seems no matter what I do, regardless of where I'll go, I will always be alone.

I'm okay with that, though.

I can't help but wonder if you remember my birthday is on Friday.
I don't want any gifts, I just want a phone call and a conversation.
Regardless of how brief, I just need to know you're out there and you care.

Do you still believe in our dream, from so many years ago?
Will we ever be in the same city, living as best friends?

Or are you so caught up in your life that you've hung ours up to dry?
Would I be wrong for being disappointed, though I only have myself to blame?

People help you make terrible choices, which is why I need to revert back to having no one.
I'm more content being on my own and working toward my goals.

I'm not even sure anyone even loves or cares about me most days. Who could? I'm such a pain.