Maybe it should always be someone sad about something. I don't claim to care but it seem like there should be always someone who going to a phase that seem like war against self. I wouldn't know nor care but I know for a fact people gone though this phase almost everyday then next thing you'll know it you'll need drugs for it but again I do not claim to care but I sometime don't notice it until you'll see self injury but then you start to think about it but you can't tell if this pain they are lashing out is real or just fake ? I really do feel like a fool thinking about it but what I learn people cry for attention everyday like if they want the world to look at him/her. . .
My hands are dirty but the fact they are dirty is what I had been doing. I'm starting to hate the fact I can't stop remembering things like everything just happen yesterday but I feel like it's an impact of my life that leave a scar so I have to remember. It's something I said that does this simple I just can not forget. I'm starting to think that I should make a movie out of it even when I think about it large amount of it is just horrible moment of my life even that I had a fight with a stranger something tells me he/she is more sad person then me.
I feel out of tune again but all I think about is the past and how it became a twisted nightmare for me. Don't be sad for me nor care but unlikely thing would heal in time even if I starting to feel like my reality is non-existent even someone argued me about it saying "How would you know? How are we alive" ect.
I kind of notice most people that argued me and almost punch me in the face for being such a loser that I do not defend myself when needed always lend to one thing but that thing is always the one truth everyone asked. Thinking about it and how much I'm starting to find religion a lie and hopeless always lend me in trouble. I'm starting to think it's my fault for placing myself in these moments when I think about it I always get someone angry about words.
The bible in another hand wasn't made by god but man as I been told by few people but some people told me it been made by god-- even someone told me that some part of the bible is false but then I ask myself on how did I get myself into this place.
I do understand people are religious but sometimes get butthurt enough that they do not make sense even I saw this video on youtube that talks about American solider and how they are leeching off with pay-- I don't even but then reporters starts to bash him as they are butthurt. I do not understand why people would get mad even they didn't let him talk as much but I also notice how fox news is becoming a joke reporting on trolling and viral videos that not many people would care.
A mistake is one thing I always do but I made myself believe I'm an android as I starting to feel like less and less human even I'm thinking of changing my ears shape. I feel odd thinking about it but there nothing wrong with it just wanted to make it pointy.
I scar myself on the chest when I was scratching but I'm always itchy because of allergies as I break out into hives but I don't always breakout but it happens on open grass so it seem. I did notice how much I hate people that say they are mature even just like children but I do not feel mature if you ask me even with my a** I just feel like me even I feel pain most of the time but it just happens really even I running into this phase that I'm upset because I can't stop thinking tells me I need help but I'm scared of help as I don't think help would do anything but make things worst then just dealing with it.
Feeling weak is something I keep dealing with even some people say they care but I always end up seeing a circle and nothing good is coming out of it.
~ayame
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