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Tonight song is to prove how I feel is..... Michiyuki by Hikida Kaori

You know I don't really know why I'm going to write again. Hey do you ever feel like your just falling but this time you hit the floor....when you wake up you find yourself on someone arms holding on to you?

I did for the moment I though it was Soubi. Then I snap myself out of that dream as it was really my roommate moving me to my bed. I didn't know I was sleeping on the tube in my bathroom. Don't ask cause I don't really know how I got there myself until I ask why?
I really don't remember what happen on that night. One moment I was watching Tv as I turn off the computer next thing you know it. I was sleeping and my body was cold and I feel like falling again. I think it stupid to say thing but....it kinda made me warm in away.

I think the only thing was in meh mind was pain, sorrow pain.....for some reason I feel like someone rip my heart out. I don't understand but thinking about it just confused me.

Well enough on how did all this happen but I'm going to Japan! I don't feel like going even I'm just there for few weeks and the only reason I'm going at the time is to be with family. I feel stupid thinking about it....I have this feeling that no one want me to return. I mean, I remember the cold glare my brother give to me. I don't understand why my little sister just kicks me everytime she see me.
I know I'm going to see meh mum but my cousin the only member that is staying on meh side told me she kinda getting better. If your asking what type of cancer I think it uterine cancer or someother? I can't read kanji right. ((Don't like getting into details as I get a headache trying to read it))

Well, I'm going to bed and hopefully I don't find myself in some other room in the apartment.

~Ayame