Morning song is to prove how I feel is..... And We All Turn Back To Dust by From First To Last
do you have that feeling of falling? like someone is pulling you down as you wake up like you have no idea what just happen.....well, anyway it been 3 to 2 days i haven't speak to soubi but, it feels like 10 years. T^T
winter is coming and inside my apartment is freakin cold. it a bad idea to sleep nood even with my late up nights I have to wear clothes but it a good thing. my room is always hot now it a freakin cold!!
i been thinking i should return to japan to live with my mother. then, i don't want to leave everything here so it a hard choice. i know my roommate can get his own place for him and his girlfriend but he only see me as a bother.
he always helping me even he knows i'm useless on my own. it remind me when i had that fight with my brother way back and told me that.
well, i'm still thinking if i should do something with the time i have? i still feel like falling as everyone keeps bring me down. well enough with this thoughs even it does bother me alot.
you know i want to do a little joke with soubi.....i don't think it smart even he said he don't care how i luck and he'll still love me but....i know he'll change his mind with all those scars i bare in my body. if you got the hint what i want to send him. i don't think it a good idea as well....i don't want to do it and well.....i'm embarrassed with this body. i don't know if there other girls that has the same issue but that what upset me.
i'm don't have the body and i feel fat T^T
now i feel emo about it again. I don't have a sexy body but i really do get mad when my friends invited me to a club. for one i'm not the party type and there way too many people that aways keeps eyes on me.
oh the horror! the horror!! stop staring T^T
I have the feeling that everytime you stare at me like a deep stare or a creepy stare....i feel like i'm being rape in the person mind who is staring at me....
i freak out easy and i mean easy x.x
oh before i forget but i know this is stupid yet i think it cute and i don;t think anyone would see it unless your at my apartment. seeing me siting down and i'll show you my new one and lame stupid idea i got!!
ankles bracelet!!
yes, i'm that bad a** =p
well, i'm going to make some coffee and let my computer on. i don't know what to do and i know if i go back to japan i might stay there for a long while. until new years but it would be a long shoot and mess up my times to talk to soubi D:
~Ayame
ps
fear me!!!
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