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If only there could be another way to do this
Cause it feels like murder to put your heart through this
I know I always said that I could never hurt you
Well this is the very, very last time I'm ever going to

From this point forward, I solemnly swear to do whatever it takes to get out of this hole I've been digging myself in.

I am so sick and tired of hoping and waiting for some knight in shining armor to tell me that all of my worries will go away.

I'm going to do whatever it takes,
To get past this past year
To get past all the people I've loved and lost
To get past all the aches and the pains that ripped me to shreds,
Long after the point where I should have been dead.

If there's anything I've learned,
Anything that I've absolutely had to learn,
It's that I'm strong. That I don't need you to be the person constantly holding my hand and assuring me of my decisions. I am not the innocent girl that you loved all those years ago.

And I think maybe that's what's wrong with me,
Something I've been struggling with.

Perhaps this is the first time in my life I've had to come to terms with the loss of a person even I loved dearly,
The young girl who was so hopeful about the world.

Please know I haven't lost that spark,
but the things I've seen would make any normal person give up.

And I haven't, not yet,
I may have taken a mental break

But I will do whatever is in my power
To break this ******** cycle
To rescue MYSELF from the clutches of hell

I am convinced I will do whatever I need to.
Finish my education, see the world,
Fall in love with this new person resting in my heart and in my soul

and for the first time in my life,
I am completely and utterly at peace with the idea of spending the rest of my life alone
Because I realize I'm better off having the people who want my best interest at heart around, and sometimes I'm the only one who wants that.

Thank you to the people who have forced me to realize what the ******** is wrong with me. This is only the beginning, but I'm going to continue fighting for my sanity.