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Trouble Forgetting
I'm not really sure why I'm still thinking about someone I haven't spoken to in awhile. Maybe I was truly in love. It's only natural for me to ruin something like that. Then again, it's not like he felt the same. Even so, I keep thinking about all the things I could've done better. Maybe if I wasn't so emotional, or maybe if I didn't question him so much about how he felt. Just maybe, we could've been...something. But it's been far too long and I'm sure he's forgotten all about me by now. I can't say it'll be easy to forget him. After all, here I am writing about him. If he were to ask, I'd tell him that I still wish to be with him. He was the only one I could really see myself with, no matter how many times people tried to win me over. At the end of the day, he was the one I wanted. There really isn't anyone else like him. He was always saying that he was just some guy. Well I couldn't disagree more. A normal guy wouldn't make my heart skip, and a normal guy wouldn't make me smile and laugh so much. A normal guy wouldn't make life more meaningful. I'm always saying that I know nothing about feelings and love, but maybe I really did love him. Just maybe. If I were to hear from him now I'd tell him, again, that he's all I think about. I'm sure I'm nothing compared to his dream girl. And I know I can't change myself into her. Even if I had the chance to try, I've ruined it. I still have hopes of running into him. What would I say? What would I do? It's impossible to imagine. This must be silly. He probably moved on. In a sense, that makes me happy. I'm sure I was bringing him down. I just hope he knows that I cut ties because it's easier. It's easier than admitting he'd never love me. It's easier than accepting I'll never have him. And I'd want him to know I really am having trouble forgetting him.
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