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You spend your days wishing you were far away, only to find your fantasies and reality live on two separate coasts. You spend your days wishing to be surrounded by people who love you, yet when they’re near you choose to indulge in conversations with strangers. Your wants and your needs don’t match up. Ever. They’re worlds away, much like the life you think you need.

You fail to cultivate something beautiful in the garden that life has placed in your backyard. You are too focused on all the flowers blooming down the street. You come from an era of instant gratification. You lose sight of the importance of hard-work and have an excuse for your terrible behaviors. People let you slide by with these excuses because they can’t fathom the pain you feel, but they’re so afraid of stepping in emotional s**t, that unless you’re rainbows and butterflies all the time, they want to keep their distance. They face their own hardships, they can’t help you with your baggage too.

You lay awake at night and consider ending your life, because your garden is full of weeds and as badly as you want to change, you can’t seem to pick up the pieces. The sun doesn’t shine where your plot lays and you don’t understand why. There is no food, or water, or life aside from you.

The loneliness kills you, but you aren’t the type of person people want to be around. Even when you try, they know it’s a farce, and then run even farther away. You often ask why you’re still here, because all of the mantras of “It will get better” stopped echoing in your head months ago. You’ve come to terms with being alone. Empty people can’t be filled.

You'd be lying if you said you hadn't considered ending your life every second of every minute, every minute of every hour. You fear letting the people you love down, you fear being a burden to the few people that still stop by and try to suggest a way to make your garden flourish. You'll force a smile, nod your head, thank them for their suggestions. You'll try one every now and then, but you conclude it doesn't work and quit maybe too soon.

You wonder if there's a way out of the darkness, but every