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Funeral tomorrow.
I'm really feeling as if I'm not ready for it.
I feel like I'll be up all night, tossing and turning again.
I'm not ready to fill the role I've been asked to, but I'll do it for you.
You clearly thought I'd be ready for this.

I wish our family would put all the problems aside.
I wish Uncle Peter would realize his family isn't sent from hell,
We're all a little jaded, and we're all so far from perfect,
But we love each other, and at the end of the day, shouldn't that be enough?

I wish Aunt Lynn and Aunt Shirley-Anne would just put their differences aside for a few moments.
I know after tomorrow they have very few intentions of seeing each other ever again,
But times like these I feel like they should just bring people closer together.

Maybe I really am as naive as people always swear I am.
Maybe I really am just as innocent to this stuff as I was when I was three.
Nobody can ever recognize me at these family functions,
I think I must secretly like it this way,
Because this is what I constantly do, change my appearance.

But do I really change as much as they swear?
Aunt Pat always knows who I am, my god I love that woman so much.
She's so proud of me, she just loves the fact that I'm Donnie's little girl
That I'm going to college, she BRAGS about it.
I love her so much. I'm really happy to have her in my life.

I saw a lot of people that I feel like its been a lifetime since I've seen,
My dad's boss, Mr. Jack, it was so nice to see him.
He told me he and his brother used to love picking up the phone whenever I'd call.
I'd just say, "Hello, can I speak to Mister Don DiDomenico," they thought it was so cute how formal I was.

I wonder if he remembers when I used to just sit in my dad's office
Because I didn't want to be away from him for an entire school day.
I realize the neediness I've always felt has always been around me,
I've always needed the love of someone, its quite odd.

Even more of the Zitos were looking for me tonight.
Even though for majority of the night I hated having to be around all those people,
I realize a few of them are actually worth the title of being called family for me.

Really though, I hate events like these.
I meet people at the worst times, in the worst circumstances, and I don't even want to remember them.
So I don't.
And they don't remember me.
How many times have I been introduced to the same people over and over again?

Yeah, I've been given the honorary title of "most affectionate"
But only to the people I feel comfortable around.
Sure, I "give the best hugs" but thats only because your hug is keeping me from freaking the ******** out.

I'm not prepared to cry in front of a bunch of ******** strangers.
I'd much rather cry in the privacy of my car, of the people I actually consider family, and with my boyfriend.

******** everyone else.
They don't get to see me in a vulnerable state.