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I feel as though I've been drowning for nearly a month.
Like a month of battling with the sea,
And I'm not sure how much more kick my legs have to give.

I'm just looking for clarity and hope,
Knowing that everything I do shifts and changes the situation around me.
Is there anything I can do to bring back the intense happiness I had?
By his side?
By yours?

Is there someone out there who can keep me happy and want to actually make me happy?
I feel as though everyone is so malicious.
I'm so flustered.

I'm setting everyone in my life free.
If they come back to me, they're meant to be in my life, right?
Will you come back? I wonder.
Will he? I wonder.

I'm still trying to figure out when I started needing people,
And worried it happened at the same moments I stopped trying to hold onto people.

Why do I keep pushing away everything I love?
It's like I'm some ******** psycho. But I need them to fight back even harder.

Prove that you want me in your life.
Better yet, need me.
What is it with me and feeling the need to be needed?
There's far too much need on my mind.
I almost wish the word and the feeling didn't exist.

I wish for so many things.
I really shouldn't.
They won't happen.

Hurricane this weekend.
Bring it.