It's strange how much things can bother you.
All that I can think of is letting everyone I care about go.
Like as if starting over will be for the better
But when I try to see if it's for the better,
I don't see anything.
I don't see good.
Nor do I see bad.
Just blank.
Just black.
Is this bleak, or is this peace?
Who knows.
Is it really that odd to be affectionate with the people you love?
Or to simply be nice to strangers?
Is it really that crazy, to just want to feel like maybe,
Just maybe,
One day you won't be as alone as you feel?
Apparently so.
I guess some people just don't like to feel like they have someone who cares?
I guess some people just don't like to be that someone who cares?
What a bother, I guess.
But I have nothing to say to it, really.
You can't make someone give you affection,
Though it certainly feels like I've been trying.
And you can't make someone enjoy the affection you're giving,
Though it certainly feels like I've been trying.
So maybe,
Just maybe,
With some people
No matter how much you care,
Or how much your heart tells you to give them a hug or just smile at them,
Maybe around them
You just have to stay a few feet away
and wear a scowl on your face.
Maybe you just shouldn't look their way.
Acknowledge their presence,
But tell yourself it doesn't mean anything
Even though,
you know,
They mean a lot to you.
Because they don't want to see it.
Though, then again,
It's ironic.
People everyday,
Are constantly screaming to be proven to
That someone else's love is genuine
Is true.
I feel like I prove it to the people I do love and care for,
But they seem so unsatisfied with it.
Maybe, just maybe,
My heart should die a little.
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Missa Defunctorum
praise the lost souls, it'll set yours free
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