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i'm kinda just waiting to lose myself.
honestly, i'm ready to just for-get.

like what's the point in remembering anything other than what i'll be tested on?
who cares about someone's memoirs or anything like that?
nobody!

if they want to know about my life,
they'll make an effort to be a part of it.

that's what i'm thinking at least.
and i mean it's not like i can keep a secret anyway.

that's why i'm so surprised there's so many still in my "running-on-empty" tank.

i feel like i'm starting to run on empty myself.
need something put into my life.
some sort of meaning,

maybe the point of life,
the hidden thing,
is to find a purpose and strive to complete it.

but then again who wants to just strive for that?
nobody.

ugh.
dflsdkfsdfksdf.
i miss you so much right now it kills me,
as of late i have these bad pictures in my head,
and i think my friends are starting to realize just how crazy i am.

i'm doing my best to hide it,
but when you get too comfortable the real you comes out.

discomfort.
discomfort.

someone put some awkwardness back into these friendships
so my pseudo-sanity can stick around a while longer.

i don't want anyone to see the monster lying underneath.

and this music isn't helping my ******** case.

i need some serious help,
but like bri said,
"you can't help those who don't help themselves."

the only problem is,
how do i help myself in this situation?
and how do i run into people that honestly care?