Mood: Downward.
Song: Babygirl - Anthony Green
My memory is so complex,
So strong, yet so weak.
Remembering things it needs to forget,
Remembering things I won't ever use.
Yet, it's so weak.
Forgetting things on next week's test,
Retaining so little about the things that ought to matter.
Perhaps its just that they don't matter?
I'd love for them to matter to me,
Whole heartedly.
I stare into it, gaze so deep.
What do I see?
Things of the past,
Some things that surprise me I can recollect so easily.
'And like that,
she was gone.
Dancing in the rain drops.'
She danced so diligently, I bet.
I think of you more often than I should,
but it's so pleasant to think of you.
There isn't an ounce of regret,
Other than that we are not friends.
: )
I think you'd like the girl I've become.
No longer depressed, a tad stressed,
but nowadays I don't automatically become undressed.
I think, maybe, you'd still find me as beautiful as you did then.
When I had no friends,
When I was completely alone.
When you were all I really had.
I love you, still, you know.
Not the type of love that makes me want to date you or anything,
But a special love that only you can have.
Seeing as you were my first love.
I guess I love you in that way
That you make me strive to be the best person I can be,
forever and a day, I'll be working my way to make you happy;
Though our paths may never meet again,
Though who am I to say what will and what won't happen?
Honestly, I can't.
But I can say I'd love to see you again.
Be strictly your friend.
Forever, and ever if you'd permit.
You were right,
Back then.
It does get easier and it has.
I'm not sure where life is heading,
I just know it needs to be good.
Perhaps it will be if I strive for it.
And I will strive like I strive to make myself good in your eyes,
Your eyes that will never see what's becoming me!
It's funny how for almost two years,
I counted on you to be my girl throughout the spring and summers.
But we weren't healthy because I wasn't old enough.
I can't say I'd ever date you, if you walked back in.
But I know I'd support you like I support Brianna and Paige and Lisa too.
I know it.
I wonder if you ever listen to Anthony Green.
I wish I still knew what our song was.
I sometimes feel the lyrics come to me.
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Missa Defunctorum
praise the lost souls, it'll set yours free
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