Mood: Alone.
Song: Come What May - The Scene Aesthetic
All I ever wanted was for you to look at me,
And know I'm all your's.
I wonder how many people feel like what I feel right now.
A few minutes ago I literally felt like I was drowning.
Drowning in stress.
Drowning in failure.
Drowning, drowning, and I felt so helpless.
Everything everyone has said to me today,
Has been pretty useless.
Hasn't made me feel better,
In fact, it's probably made me feel ten times worse.
Oh, I know,
"We're just trying to help."
Telling me he isn't worth it,
Telling me he'll just do it again,
Telling me he never loved me,
Telling me he stopped a long time ago;
YOU'RE NOT ******** HELPING ME.
How the hell could you even think you are?
God, I don't know why but nobody is helpful today.
I just feel so cornered and trapped.
And I don't really know why.
This morning I just looked out the window on the bus ride,
At all the rain;
The bleek, terrible rain.
And I just wondered,
'What if I were a turkey, and i just sat there with my mouth open letting it fill up my lungs?'
And then I realized,
I was hoping to be a stupid bird that doesn't even think to close it's mouth.
And it amazed me, really,
because that thought made me feel better.
I really hate turkeys. With a burning passion, almost.
But they're so damn stupid.
I don't really understand much,
I don't understand why you can't come to me,
I don't understand why I can't come to you.
I want that second chance,
but I'm not worth it in the end I guess.
And I want to feel your love,
but your love ran away four months ago.
And you lied to me.
And now?
Now I'm lost.
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Missa Defunctorum
praise the lost souls, it'll set yours free
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