Mood: NTKB.
Song: Love, Love, Love (Love, Love) - As Tall As Lions
"If I'm
all that you're looking for,
tell me,
why is there a river streaming
down your face?
Sometimes makes me wonder
all about your
love."
Indeed. Indeed.
Oh so indeed.
This song seems to have been playing most of the night.
I love this song, especially now.
It's portraying a lot,
Believe it or not.
I love you. Yes, Erik.
I love you. And it hurts that you doubt me so.
I don't think you quite get what's going on,
I don't think I quite get it either.
Some songs just make me cry so hard.
When I first saw your picture after we spoke,
All I could do was bawl.
Bawl, bawl, bawl.
I was watching TV around 11AM yesterday morning,
And a song came on that used to make me feel butterflies.
I automatically thought of you,
And I heard it and I bawled.
Bawl, bawl, bawled.
"After some time
it's something i find true. Love's
not a grave, it won't decay
on you.
Too many days I was afraid
of love. "
And I was afraid of love, so afraid at what might happen after.
Afraid to fall in love with you. What if this was some joke to you?
What if I didn't even matter at all?
What if I was just something to ease boredom?
I was afraid.
But it happened, Erik.
And everytime I say I love you, I love you so much more.
It's a bit, silly, isn't it?
That we're so afraid.
So very afraid.
Paranoid even, at other people.
When we should be focusing on us.
Just us, not them.
They don't even matter.
1 + 1 = Erik + Kait.
I love you, and I mean it.
We don't need to worry about silly things.
I know your so afraid that I'm going to hurt you,
But that's natural. My heart's in your hands,
and you have no idea just how scared I am you're going to just drop it.
And let it break again.
I don't want your's to break, more importantly though.
I used to be so selfish, when it came to relationships, Erik.
I've never felt like this, with anyone.
And it's even more scary because I mean that.
Completely. It's like... I'd do anything for you, Erik.
Give up the world and more if I could.
I know I've never cared so much for another person.
"What
if nothing is just that and
suffering's the only thing we're good
at?
Dreaming, picture that
a whole world in a slumber.
But don't get
too attatched to the living,
even every single memory's
fleeting.
That's a fact, being torn
asunder.
But to my suprise, no reason
why, one day i woke
up and realized. "
With you, when it's happiness,
Nothing is wrong.
Everything feels at peace.
I mean it.
And I don't want to lose what we have,
Don't want to lose you...
I don't.
And one day I did wake up.
And that day, I did realize.
And I'm so happy I did realize,
Realize that I've completely given my heart to you.
I wish you could just... understand,
What's going through my mind.
I'm scared, and I'm worried.
So very worried about you...
I love you, Erik Raul Roman Sanchez.
And I'd do anything to prove it.
We need to fix this.
Work this out.
Get past this.
Get back to being us,
The good us.
Not the Kait that cries whenever there's something that reminds me of only a few days ago.
Not the Erik that feels the need to run away in towns.
Not so detached.
Not so ... unloving.
I haven't seen you say I love you in forever it feels,
And it hurts more so now than when you were gone.
Because you can say it,
But I worry, that maybe you don't.
But I hope you do love me.
Part of me knows you do.
But I still worry...
I worry a lot.
A lot about you.
A lot about us.
I'm sorry it's probably annoying.
"Give it to me,
love. I'll keep you in my focus
with love and affection."
And I will.
And I hope you think I do.
And I love you and I mean it.
And I know I love you isn't enough right now for you,
I know you're confused.
I know you're scared too.
But we don't need to be scared.
I'd do anything for you.
Anything. Everything.
I love you.
I love you.
I love ******** love ******** love you.
To sound even more-so like a broken record,
I love you. So much.
So much you don't even know,
So much I wonder if you ever will know just how much.
But I love you.
And you love me.
And this is silly.
I will keep you in my focus,
Full of love and care.
I will.
I will.
I will.
I swear.
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Missa Defunctorum
praise the lost souls, it'll set yours free
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