Today song is to prove how I feel is.....Breakdown by Seether
okay let start with the morning!!
I been asleep almost all morning but my dream is what I want to talk about. I feel like there two of me like ying and yang when there two of the same person. well anyway....i'm a fake as i saw my real self in this glass ice chain down in this darkness. I don't understand why i had that dream but thinking about it is like i been throwing away. Judging by the face...she was sad but, thinking about it kinds mess my mind up. I know there nothing to talk about me but, that was kinda mess up. Still, i had another dream that Rit was falling into darkness once again but I can't do anything but watch him suffer. I don't know what made him do that but i feel sorry about it.
Just to let you know I had an 15 hour sleep, so there was alot of stuff inside my head. I haven't eaten anything all day and I'm still waiting for soubi. It make me think that he might forgotten me but i know for a fact he still there trying to make contact nya.
I talk to Gale and she seen mad. I don't know what made her like that but she should be like a douche bag >.>
I haven't eaten anything all day but my roommate is hardly here. He with his girlfriend most of the time. I don't blame him but i do blame him for taking my keys. i took a cold shower to sweat out all the demons that i bare within me. normaly i do that with hot water but that just make me cry when i put cold water on it.
I think i should die but, i don't wnat to die. i know there people that need me but sometime i dont think that want m around. so i just sit here and think for lik hours.
I was talking to leon but is known as lionheart. I'm glad i talk to him even i haven't speak to him like forever. I'm glad i talk to him even so we were talking about gale but i think that the reason why she hate me. i called her an it cuz i don't know what is she or he? then he was talking about when soubi told me to stay away form me. i'm now thinking more when he said that.
that means alot to me but then i started to slow down when he said he jealous about me and soubi. I kinda feel sorry about it even i did had a crush with sesshomaru, but that like a memory to me. I mean then he told me about my old self......then i started to think about my dream. in the world i never did talk much and i'm always moving on figthing and figthing. I took everyone as the enemy and made a name of myself. I was like haseo back then. yet, that when i fell in love and change. I don't know if that other ayame wel ever wake up.
My roommate well be here in 10 mins to bering me something to eat and maybe his girlfriend might show up. I feel abit ashame about thinking so much but, there soo useless thing that doesn't matter anymore. I still believe what i want to believe.
Soubi love me no matter what and i love him as well and I have friend that cares about me. Even that guy words does burns in my mind but, I know it don't matter anymore. I have to look forward and keep up on my life.
~Ayame
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