Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

******** ******** ******** ******** ******** ******** ******** ******** ******** ******** ******** ******** ******** ******** ******** ******** ********

ok i feel like i have been holding that back for week! i am just so angry and dissatisfied. i just feel isolated and like i cannot fit in ANYWHERE. gaia, real world, my joke of a job, my joke of community involvement. ********

i hate swearing too. i find it to be uncreative.well that is me now. i lack creativity.

this is all very mumbled jumbled. i can not sleep so i get on......

maybe this is just holiday hangover? i got through them ok.....although new years eve looms...there never good either.....

melancholy
that is what i am feeling
that and dizzy....
but melancholy all over. i feel motionless while everything just spins around. everything feels so out of control and i just want to curl up in a ball and disappear.
grey shadows loom ahead and i completely do not want to deal with it.
we got through december hurray. i can not comprehend january and etc.

*sigh*