College is a time of discovery.
I've loosened up a bit. Even to my hairstyle. Instead of twirling my hair around and around and tying it in a knot as tightly to my head as possible, I found a clip. A single clip. Much more comfortable and flattering.
For the most part, I like the education I'm receiving. The main reason why I'm majoring in education is so I can do something to reform the system. Because teaching to the test is not an accurate way to measure someone's intelligence, and intelligence is not synonymous with worth.
I like that my professors don't talk to me like I'm a child.
The RA's and other people, on the other hand...
It'll get better by second semester or next year. I'm a patient person.
So I've decided on a new alias for here. I'm tired of being Horse lady. I mean, I love the name. I might get a mule to reserve it for in case I want it back.
But I'm Katie Sea. I may be an air sign, but I am the water bearer. I love water. I come from a family of fishermen. I love and am terrified of the sea.
Also, my last name starts with C.
Kinda cheesy, but it's more fitting to my real life than Horse lady.
Also, my laptop, Socrates, died a few days before I moved in to my dorm. So I'm using my best friend's loaner right now. Hopefully I'll be able to order a new one in a few days...
I've gotten to know quite a few people. I'm kind of involved in the school's Pride Alliance (basically GSA but more) and I helped out with a Psych Club event tonight.
But I miss the way things were. I had no drama in high school (outside of band, that is). I could see all of my friends every day. We could have parties every few weeks. I could hug my three best friends and sexually harass my best guy friend (well, more like make dirty jokes with him).
Is it normal to be jealous of my best friend whenever she mentions her roommate? Or her new friends?
Things aren't like I expected them to be. I'm somewhat disappointed. But no matter. I'm here to get an education. I'm here to become a teacher. I'm here to become a teacher and work to reform the education system.
But why?
Because it needs to be done.
But why me?
Because I really can't do anything else. Logically, this is the only career I can go into that I'm interested in that I can probably make money with.
But design! I just made a dress today! Within the span of an hour! Why can't I just make clothes?
Because it won't pay the bills.
I feel so hopeless.
Time to take your pills, Katie Sea.
I need to get to the counseling center here. Because I need to gradually get off these pills. They're giving me stomachaches.
Can I cry first?
Sure.
This is Katie, who wasn't this angsty ten minutes ago, signing out. And going to bed.
Katie Sea Community Member 
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