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So..... It's definitely been a while!

I'm 21 now, and get this, MARRIED.

It's hilarious to go back and read my Gaia journal and follow all of my romantic excursions I had throughout middle school, high school, and even my early years of college, but I finally found the love of my life. His name is Wesley, we met on Facebook on November 28th, 2013 and met in person for the first time on January 14, 2014. We wasted no time, and were engaged on February 19th, 2014. We were engaged for a year, and on March 7th, 2015, we eloped and got married! Because I have always loved weddings, we are going to have a "wedding wedding" on November 7th, 2015! I am truly so blessed to have this man in my life! He loves me unconditionally, which is something I've never had before and he is just an all around sweet, caring, and amazing person. He's 25, and we are currently living with his parents until I graduate school and become a middle school teacher.

Speaking of school....

College is.... something. My depression makes it ridiculously hard to get through each semester, but I am graduating in December 2016, so I'm in the final stretch. Thank goodness. It seriously drives me crazy. One thing, I actually started going to therapy rather than dealing with my depression on my own, which is... weird. Like, I guess it's alright, but it doesn't help much. I'm having a really hard time functioning through my depression, and I keep falling more and more behind in school, so I'm actually considering getting on antidepressants after literally a LIFETIME of resisting them. It's pretty freaking horrifying, honestly. I don't know how to feel just happy. I can't remember a single time in my life without my depression, and I can't even begin to imagine life without it. I mean, I guess it will be a god thing... I just don't know.

I don't really have any friends anymore. It was just too much work trying to keep up with people that I didn't fully trust, so I gave up. The only people I'm really still friends with from my middle and high school are Brandon and Kevin, which is strange, but in a good way. They've both been there for me for nearly a decade now. Literally. August 2015 will make a decade for both, which is absolutely insane. I love it though. I have a couple good friends from college, which are Eric and Elizabeth. Eric's been my friend for about 3 years now, and I just met Elizabeth about a year ago. Of course, I still have Andrea in my life, which is all thanks to this little website here! She's my soul sister, and I love her more than anything. She actually has twin sons now! It's amazing. I've also met a good bit of friends through Wesley, which is really nice and his family has really taken me in over this past year and a half. I love them as if they were my own family, and for the first time, I feel safe, happy, and loved.

Overall, my life is amazing. I'm almost done with school and I have the most AMAZING man by my side. My life is finally beginning. I've longed for this my entire life, and now I'm living it! I'm still waiting for what I want more than anything, though, as Wesley and I (mostly Wesley) have decided to wait for a few years to have any kids. Surprise, I'm still baby crazy!

I'm just so happy. I've found contentment whereas I was always so restless before. Yeah, I still have my depression, as I probably always will, but I have so much happiness that I can finally look past it and live my life.

Thank you, journal, for always being there for me heart May our friendship last at least another seven or eight years!