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i think everybody hates me. i'm constanly putting myself down, and everybody's gettting sick of it. i know chris is definitly getting sick of it. i'd rather put myself down than to put someone else down. i know it's unhealthy to do so, but i can't call someone else names that would hurt them. it hurts to put myself down, but it hurts even more when someone else does it. i used to be a bully when i was growing up and i'm paying for it now. chris says he loves me, but it kills me when he tells other people that i get on his nerves. i don't do that. what kind of friend does that???? i always defend him when someone doesn't like him. always. i don't know what else to do anymore. i think i might quit gaia for awhile. this way, all my friends can have fun and not worry about me and trying to make me happy. i'm still thinking about it. if i do quit, i'll let some of you know.