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'sup dude.
Just some shtuff.
Kai and Ren
A story I made just now, it's not a masterpiece, but I do like it's dramatic feel. I would appreciate critasism and/or comments as i'm practicing emotions.

This is a love story, but it's one with an unhappy ending. As most High School relationships are. (That was the basic idea behind it.)

Kai and Ren


“But… Ren! Wait! Why…? Why are you ignoring me!?” Kai walked one step forward toward the woman he is still in love with. “I… don’t know if how I feel is true… I mean… you heard my father…” Ren looked to the side and saw Kai through the side of her eye. Ken’s mouth was open. “But… you never pay attention to how others think! What do YOU think… what’s… in your heart…?” “I… don’t know…” “What about everything you’ve said…” Kai started to look toward the ground, his arms at his side, and tears starting to come from his eyes. “What about the things you’ve said… how… you loved me… how… you wouldn’t care what others thought, that we were to be together, and it wouldn’t change… was everything we’ve been through… just childish dreams? Just, fantasies of what might’ve been? Just… words…” “…Maybe…” Kai’s eyes widened at this remark. “You… don’t mean that…” “Kai, I don’t know anymore.” “Please! Talk to me! Tell me what you’re feeling… don’t… just leave me like this…” “I’m sorry Kai. I was happy to be with you. Everything you’ve done, all the time we’ve shared… did mean something to me.” “But…” “Please, don’t make it harder than it already is.” “Ren… please…” “I’m sorry.” Ren turned and started to walk away. “Some things… were never meant to be…” Kai’s eyes widen again to this statement. He then looked to the ground, a tear streaming down his cheek. “Maybe… you’re right.” Ren turned around and faced Kai. “Some people… are destined to be alone.” “Kai, no.” “Stop… I never did like people Ren, and you made me happy. All I needed was to feel happiness once, and I instantly became addicted. I let myself become too attached, and I became clingy.” Kai looked up. “I still do love you, even if it lost its meaning…” “It did. You’ve said it so many times to me…” “I will be sure to remember that.” Ren started to smile. “I hope we’ll still be friends.” He looked down. “I do too…” Kai turned around and started to head to the door. “Kai…” Kai stopped. “Maybe we’ll get back together one day…?” Kai turned his head. “Maybe… some things just weren’t meant to be…” Ren’s expression turned to shock. Her mind flooded with the memories of the one she once thought she loved. The little bit of time they spent together, felt like an eternity. Kai reached for the door and turned the handle. A loud creek came from the door as he stepped out, and the door shut. It shut, and all of the joyousness with it. Kai walked down the road. ‘What was I thinking? Me, with someone like her... I should’ve known from the start… the subtle hints… I shouldn’t have trusted so much… it was all a lie… a ruse… maybe she just was never the one for me… maybe nobody is…’ Kai’s walk slowly turned into a run. Tears streaming from his eyes. “Why!? WHY!? WHHHYYYY!?” That night Kai couldn’t sleep. He laid in bed thinking about all the wonderful times he’s had… the feelings he shared… the joy of knowing he was cared… but all them slowly faded away, far into the back of his mind. He didn’t want to dwell, he didn’t deserve the pleasure.






User Comments: [2] [add]
Matt P.
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Sun Jan 11, 2009 @ 05:23am
I can already see one, I need paragraph spacing. (I need to learn when to break and transition to a new paragraph.)


commentCommented on: Mon Jan 12, 2009 @ 05:51am
ello my dear [note, when i reffer to my friends, i 'my dear' sometimes slips, it's a habbit of myne] i do agree, maybe for gaia's purposes you could color code one of the characters? but i do like it, i like it ever so much.. it reminds me of my sad love that just started again, i dislike my stories, although... i'll have to put one up on my journal once i find them



Lady Ruee
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
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