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Well, I was going to upload a story onto here, but it's on my computer, not this one. And of course, that computer is not working because the battery backup quit on me. Whenever I turn it on it screams at me. I've tried various things, but I just plain need a new one.
Now onto the journal itself. I would like to call this entry...
8th Grade Lament
The last day of school was yesterday (Friday the 30th of May). Most kids would be celebrating and joyous. No school for three months! YAY! But not me, not me. I'm sitting here at this computer depressed out of my mind. First, let me explain why.
Well to start off, I'm an extremely social person. I NEED social interactment with people outside of my family. Without that, I am very sad, very depressed. I stated in the previous entry that when I am sick for more than two days from school, I don't want to do anything other than go to school and talk with the people there. I only have a half brother who has his own family, house, etc. So most of the time I spend is alone. My parents are usually working.
Anyways. School is what keeps me sane.......er, well, saner. The kids at school, the teachers, I all love to see each day.......except for the select few who I really don't like. Going to school keeps me happy. At home, I'm usually really quiet. When I'm around other people, I am super talkative. Saying I love school makes me sound like a geek or a nerd, but, I love school because I get to see all of the people that make me happy. During the summer, I don't see those people, so I wonder how I will fare.
I'll be going over to friends houses and what-not, but still. I love to hang out with groups of people, whether at school, a public place, etc. I'm going to miss all of those people over these three months.
Enough about that. The thing that I am most sad about is a boy. In my last entry, I wrote about a boy who I loved so much and that I thought he liked me. Well, it's the last day of school, and I can't find the courage to tell him how I feel. I stand next to him, trying to say something, but I can't. Scared of rejection, I guess.
In the last half hour of school, (We only went till 1:00) We were signing yearbooks in the gym. The boy walked over to me and said "What are ya doin!" Just joking around. Then he stood next to me for a little while. I could feel a huge aura of things being left unsaid. I would look at him and his mouth would be opening and closing, sort of like he was trying to say something, but the words wouldn't come out.
After a few minutes, he just walked away, and my chance to tell him I was crazy about him went with him. Now, you might be thinking to yourself, "Ah well, you'll see him next year. Tell him then." But, that's not the case. When his family moved into a new farmhouse a little ways away, his mom and dad said he could still go to the same school. But when gas prices rose to 4 dollars a gallon, his mom told him that she was tired of driving all the way to the school. So then, his mom said that he was going to go to a different school that was a little closer. Oh joy.
When I talked to him one day in class, he started on about this. He said, "Now I'm going to stupid (Town name) with all of the dumb kids and no friends. It's retarded." So I asked him, "Why don't you tell your parents you don't wanna go?" "I don't know. They probably won't care." "So you want to leave all your friends behind, all of these fun, outrageous people, just because your mom doesn't have the patience to drive a few extra miles." Then he looked at me with such a feeling in his eyes. "I'm going to miss it. But that's that. Nothing I can do about it."
That's when I got uber pissed. I hate it when the kids of the family have no say in anything. "Oh honey, we're just going to move 1000 miles away from the only friends you have, and dump you into a new school. Pack up, we're leaving tomorrow!" My family never did that. I've lived in the same house since I was born, and my family has no reason to leave. *Sigh*
Who knows, maybe he won't go to the other school. I don't know. All I know is that if he does, I'm going to miss him a lot. But for now, I'm just gonna keep hope that his mom and dad change their minds and let him go to the same school. Let's see if that hope gets me through the summer. If I get to Freshman year, and he isn't there, then at least I'll have school to keep me happy.
*NEXT JOURNAL ENTRY*
..............Hell, I don't know.
 Heruuna · Sat May 31, 2008 @ 11:45pm · 0 Comments |
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