Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Tiger's gone now.

Three words that have been echoing through my head since 11 am when he left us.

He slept with me on my bed last night. I sort of stole him from my parents' bed, but I needed to be with him and he didn't object. I stayed up as late as I could just petting him and snuggling with him and playing with him. He seemed even more kitten-like than usual and he was the sweetest he's ever been. He was rubbing me all over and licking my face and my fingers and purring like a motor. He was adorable.

He woke me up at 7 am and rubbed against my face. And then I watched him push my blinds out of the way to look out my window for a little bit. Then I followed him downstairs, gave him a little bit of food and spoiled him. He went all the way downstairs and looked out the window and I pet him some more. Then I went off to do my own thing when he went into another room to lie in the sun. I spent a good hour with him in the sun.

Then we took him to the vet and as soon as we walked in I couldn't hold it anymore and just let the tears start pouring out. And they kept coming until a few minutes after we had got back home.

Tiger did not make it ANY easier. On the way there in the car he started wimpering and crying out. And when the vet gave him the first shot to sedate him she left him with us for 15 minutes. For the first minute nothing happened, but then it kicked in and he started wimpering some more. Then he started lying down bit by bit and something weird happened with his jaw. It sounded like he was purring, but it was like he was chattering his teeth and his jaw seemed to occasionally go out of place and I got really concerned. Towards the end he was completely lying down and not moving at all with his eyes still open.

And then the vet took him away in a towel. And now I can't ever see him again. And I miss him so much already.

We're getting him cremated like our last cat, Fellini, and keep him inside so he'll still be with us. Then we're going to get a memorial for him and my mom said I can write something on it or something.

I'm okay when I'm with someone. Alyssa and I joked around for a while when we got home and then I played some more Phoenix Wright, and read some more 8-bit Theater to cheer me up, and then went to the park with Kathleen and her brother.

I talked to James for a whole 10 minutes (if that much, more like 5-ish) before he had to leave to play Warhammer so I didn't really get to talk to him about it at all, just that Tiger left and that I missed him. So Kiri invited me to spend the night, but my parents are out and won't answer their phones. I'm hoping they call me back soon so I can ask to go to Kiri's. We may or may not go bowling tomorrow since we don't really have money.

As soon as we get more color ink I'm going to print out a picture of Tiger and put it up in my room.

I was staring at a picture from 6 years ago when we just got Tiger and Drake. Alyssa looks like an evil dork and I look like an idiot, but Tiger and Drake are EXTREMELY small and snuggled up with each other, sleeping.

I'll miss that sweet little boy. I have a total of 30 pictures of him on my computer and a few more I took when I was younger when I had an old camera of my own.