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	Israfel's journal of life Here I write things that happens in my life along with thoughts and contemplations and opinions

	New poem...again
	New poem...again


A child, lying in the street, uncared for Let down by the woman who meant the most Cold, dark and pointless Did it matter? All by itself this child was Did it matter? A strange figure emerging What could it be? Do I dare to find out? It's coming closer! Closes my eyes Did it matter what it was? Unable to keep them shut, I open them once again The figure of a woman Tender smile Tender voice Don't look! I'm not worthy Why is she picking me up? Do I matter? Her warmth Her tenderness She's...smiling Why at me? The warm and wet sensation on my forehead Did she just do that? The lock on my heart makes a rustling sound Is this happening....or is just wonderful dream? I close my eyes...opening them once more She's still there! She is still...there! Please never leave! The words sound loudly in my heart The words - I'm home Israfel85 · Wed Mar 21, 2007 @ 04:49pm · 14 Comments


Israfel85 Community Member «Prev \| Next» Archive \| Home [12/21/14 04:02pm] [04/16/10 11:42pm] [10/07/09 08:17pm] [12/02/08 09:06am] [05/17/07 11:25am] [05/11/07 10:38am] [05/06/07 04:44pm] [05/03/07 10:31am] [03/21/07 04:49pm] [01/04/07 10:23am]

	User Comments: [14]
	User Comments: [14]


	I love it... its deep man... Offline Paw-P · Community Member · Wed Mar 21, 2007 @ 06:50pm


	Thanks buddy biggrin Offline Israfel85 · Community Member · Wed Mar 21, 2007 @ 06:53pm


	smiles awwww its so sweet heart Offline Six_feet_under · Community Member · Thu Mar 22, 2007 @ 06:32pm


	awwww that is deep I should show you one of mine it will make you cry like this one made me cry Offline blue_bunny_buns · Community Member · Thu Mar 22, 2007 @ 11:06pm


	I'm happy you like it heart Offline Israfel85 · Community Member · Thu Mar 22, 2007 @ 11:34pm


	shell never leave unless she goes brain dead. Offline himawari kage · Community Member · Fri Mar 23, 2007 @ 12:45pm


	heart heart heart heart Offline Israfel85 · Community Member · Fri Mar 23, 2007 @ 06:05pm


	I liked your poem heart I'd also like to help you make many more great ones with criticism. About 1/3 into the poem it changed from A child and the child to you and I. You switched from third person writing to first person writing, it wasn't an extreme change it was just slightly apparent when I read it. I'd also like to ask what cold, dark, and pointless meant in the second section, it seemed to describe something but what? I really did like it, your better then most, I hope to see more!! {{sry for sounding like a snoot and for downing your poem, it's osm}} Offline nema11 · Community Member · Sun Mar 25, 2007 @ 04:08pm


	It is describing how I felt at that time of my life, everything was nothing, nothing and pain. Offline Israfel85 · Community Member · Mon Mar 26, 2007 @ 01:13pm


	I liked the personal progression, it told me you were growing through the pain rather than dying with it. Offline himawari kage · Community Member · Wed Mar 28, 2007 @ 02:38pm


	It's beautiful! The sensations of pain and anguish turned into love and belonging. I loved it! heart crying heart crying heart Offline LadySam · Community Member · Thu Mar 29, 2007 @ 02:11am


	Favorite Line: "The lock on my heart makes a rustling sound." Nice work. nod Offline Oh Emetophobia · Community Member · Fri Mar 30, 2007 @ 02:31pm


	I'm glad you liked to read it biggrin I enjoyed writing every single line. heart heart Offline Israfel85 · Community Member · Fri Mar 30, 2007 @ 02:33pm


	Den er meget god Offline Sweetlizzy · Community Member · Tue May 01, 2007 @ 04:38pm

	User Comments: [14]
	User Comments: [14]

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