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sometimes love is like a rope, it looks like one path but really there are many, hundreds of other threads all twisted together to form into one

sometimes when im with the love of my life, talking to her, we'll move on from a goofy subject to a serious one, its then that sometimes problems, insue, but not often, but still problems come, and ill say something that to me, seems like i put her in a totally dissapointed in me, or depressed about what i said, mood

is there a way to avoid things like this? im not the best people person, for her, im trying to learn, but im still not that great at making conversation lol

its not all bad though, we talk about alot of fun, happy things, sometimes we exchange love songs <3 there was this wonderful night when she sent me "just a kiss" and it reminded me so much of her that i literally almost began to cry thats how much i miss her

there are conversations of the personal nature though, that i think sometimes just puts stress on her mind, ive made a promise to her, and i really dont want to break it, because to her a promise is everything, but still, i doubt myself...im not sure if i can say no, im not sure what will happen the next time were together, not knowing what will happen, she doesnt want it as much as i do, i dont know what to do, and the other night we were talking about it, all i could do was reassure her that ill try my best to keep the promise i made to her, i think she doubts if i could really say no =( she asked multiple times if i would say no if she said yes....

well enough of that,

there are other times, like today after work, that ill be in a really crappy mood, that makes me want to not even look at myself after what i say to her, the things i said... =( like today i just went off on her, i was completly out of line, she was saying sarcastically "oh well i gues im just some common girl like everyone else to you?" and like a complete moron, a*****e, idiot, fool, and all around jerk, i said yes, simply because i didnt have the energy to fight her =( well were talking now, and we were both like, joking, about the whole sarcastic things, but i take alot to heart, and because i had no energy to reassure her that she was the only one for me, and the most special person in my life, i feel like i let her down, well i learned my lesson, this wont happen again ill make sure of it

i need to work on that, just because i had a long day, i refuse to allow myself to treat her like any other girl, shes the most important, and best thing thats ever happened to me in my entire lifetime heart i literally think i would die of a broken heart without her, she deserves to be respected, especially after how badly her past with men affects her now, i still feel like going to her ex's house and giving him what he deserves! how dare...ugh, its not for me to say but she did not have a good past, and i want to make sure she was a wonderful future <3

im resolve to make her future is one worth dreaming of! and i swear, days like this may come again, but the same will not happen! i shall tell her she is my one and only, a rose among daisies, a star shining brightly above all others <3

after all...she makes me so happy, so the least i can do, and want to do, is make her happy too =)