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I don't know what to do anymore.

Everything in my life just seems wrong.

Except Josh. And Moving to Lousiana. That's right, that's how it should be. I wouldn't have it any other way. But everything else... it's just....

Why is it the way it is?

I never have time for anything, I'm always working. And when I'm promised time off, I don't get it in the end. I'm just left out, my time given to my shiny new coworker. Even if my boss promised it to me for two months.

I make more than minimum wage, and yet, I barely scrape out $250 a week. It goes to groceries and bills; I can barely save any of it. The amount of money in my savings account? $40, that will soon be sent on my much needed birth control.

And poor Josh, he has so many bills. A car note, a credit card bill, a student loan bill, a cell phone bill....

Who decided that these things are necessary? Why must our world be driven by money?

Minimum wage is a joke.

And he can't find a job. He's losing hope. It's not his fault-- companies are just... not hiring. He's so talented, it hurts for me to see his talent wasted. Yes, he has a temp job with a company, but soon that will end, and the money from the Puppet show can be barely considered change, with the bills we have to pay.

Blue Street Studios, out of Huntsville, Alabama has offered him a potential job. Downside? It's in Huntsville? Upside? Huntsville is extremely affordable, even for us. Another downside? We can't afford to move. Upside? My parents might be able to help with that. Might be able to help.

Last downside?

He's afraid that he'll have to deal with the same stuff he dealt with at the last company that he worked for-- paychecks that are a week late, if not more.

Another downside? I'll need a car. We can keep sharing his only for so long.

It's just downside after downside.

But, as much as I complain, I wouldn't give this up for anything, ever. With Josh, I'm the happiest that I've ever been, and that's good. No more screaming mothers, who think I'm the scum of the earth and throws pans at me, and no more fathers who think that I worth little more than dirt because I'm not in college yet.

Why is life so hard?

Does it really make us better in the end, these hardships? Or do they just wear us down until we are too tired to be making excuses?