I feel so horrible I can't explain it. I just wanna shoot myself, end all this wreched pain... I wanna scream so loud that you could hear my from the burning ball of fire we call the sun. I wanna yell, I wanna cut and bleed I have to make this go away, please someone make it end, MAKE IT END!!!!!!!!! I can't scream, I have to be brave, brave for my mom, and brave for her. I can't let her know... it would give her worry, and I couldn't live with the guilt... I'm being forced to hide it all away beneath the mask, and it pains me worse!! I can't take this, it's killing me, ripping me apart from the inside out, and yet I feel nothing... My head, my mind, it's an illusion, make it go away mommy, make the nightmare go away, but NO!!! It stays it lingers, and nothing anyone does can make it go away. KILL ME NOW!!!! Let my scream into eternity, and let the flames come over me, and burn this pain away, GOD SAVE ME NOW!!!!!!!!!
---Mental effects of pain killers
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