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I said goodbye to Ian.

For good. For good, for good.

He just told me he didn't want to be friends anymore. I apparantly 'dumped' him this time, even though we weren't dating. I know that he means Josh, but... jumping to conclusions like that...

Anyhow, he's not worth it.

He was a total b*****d, even to the end. It amazes me to even think that I ever liked him. Or wanted to be friends. Or even cared.

But of course I did. I loved him as a friend. I didn't want him to kill himself, or go and do something stupid, but... no. It wasn't enough. Or maybe it was too much.

So, he got on tonight and told me to choose: Him, or Josh.

I said I couldn't. I liked them both. I didn't know about my feelings for either. Did I still like Ian? What the hell did I think about Josh?

He couldn't accept that, but he gave me a little time to think about it anyway.

So I chose.

Ian... is not worth it. No matter how I see good in him, or how I'll miss him or whatever, he isn't. He's not a good man. He's not a good friend. He'll only bring me hurt.

So he apologized.

And I said goodbye.

And it hurt.

But I'll wake up better tomorrow.

I have Josh.