I now understand what writers mean when they write "looking at herself in the mirror her bright green eyes popped out from the smeared mascara benieth them. I was at my friends house, the guy who likes me. As always we were listening to music and got into a discussion of my boyfriend my friend is anti-Jeremy and he called him a "fatass". Now yes Jeremy is chubby, but it really pisses me off when people make fun of his weight. I don't want him to feel down about his apperance at all because I believe Jermey to be the most amazing, best looking guy around. Now all my friends are pretty Anti-Jeremy and make comments. This one just hit me all the way. I just turned laying in his couch so he couldn't see my face and started crying. He probably noticed I was crying, yet he ignored it. Why would you ignore that? I hate when people notice I'm crying, most of the time I want them to ignore it so I can get over it. But this is not one of those times, and he did nothing to comfort me. I'm not sure what set me off, what he said or if it was me thinking of the Kayla thing because Jeremy told me more about it the other day. The Kayla thing is what I like to call the event in which Jeremy cheated on me with a very hidious looking, fake dyed redheaded whore. It still hurts to think about it of course. I'm so closed off with my emotions though, if I'm sad I just pretend to be happy, if I cry I brush it off. I say "well im going to bed" when I really want someone to be there for me but won't admit it. I don't want to let people in. I let Jimmie in my brothers best friend and he ******** me for my virginity and than stopped speaking to me. I had loved him and than he broke my trust, than Jeremy broke my trust, what's next? How much heartbreak will I have to endure... I'm just an emotional wreck right now.
 Ginjar420 · Sun Jul 12, 2009 @ 10:15am · 0 Comments |
