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my beautiful baby girl madison to everyone you never excisted sadly that was the truth a sick joke by a sick guy who i will forever think is evil destroyed me he is the face of evil at its best this guys name is tony the person i loathe dispise hate i was a stupid dumb naive stupid foolish girl who believed anything he and i met online on imvu married on imvu we got very serious he told me he wanted to marry me so i had to try on wedding dresses and i did it was beautiful but it was just a dream part of his evil plan i fell into it the next thing the unmagineable happened he wanted a baby with me we were long distance so i told him we couldnt he shocked me this is where he twisted my mind horrorably he said go to sleep dream of are baby dream of us making love we would create are baby that way i thought he was a little crazy but i was dumb i guess my mind wanted it so bad to be true i whent to sleep the next morning mom was standing over me i was shocked shes like hunny are you okay im like yea shes like hunny you were screaming in your sleep you sounded like you were being torchered then she said hunny i dont mean to scare you she what she showed me next scared the hell out of me she showed me my sheets covered in blood my blood i screamed and cried i asked where it came from then the thought came to my head did tony rape me did he somehow get here and in my house i cried moms like hunny your dad was up all night nobody got in she sent me to the bath in the water she shut the door whent downstairs i layed there with my hands on my stomache no way this was happening i cried and cried in the tub how the hell would i explain this to everyone when i couldnt even explain it to myself. i went downstairs and tony said we did it the dream baby was now within me he said he saw her are beautiful daughter in me with blonde hair and ice blue eyes i whent to the couch i was tired i layed there with my hands to my stomache and tears fell from my eyes as i slept. then after a few days new symptoms weight gain tiredness tender breast mom decided to get me to lie to protect me she had me say me and tony were together in real so i did just that i lied making everyone believe i had sex when really i hadent but i sure as hell wasent going to explain the truth. a little while later tony cheated on me got another girl pregnant the stress made my stomache hurt i tried to stay calmn then i thought of the wedding dress i tried on it was called madison so i decided i wanted to name her that i sang to her and talked to her and loved her i decided to go out that night to my youth group and my ex adam graham was there he heard the news about me being pregnant and he stressed me that night i bled i thought i miscarried due to all the stress but it was really my period but i dident know that i told him i bled he acused me of being an idiot that i killed are baby i suffered so bad he hated me i lost my baby i wanted to die i whent to sleep i dreamnt of her my precious little madison i held her and she told me she was going to die i awoke in tears thinking tony was right i killed her i ached i wanted to die grabbed the scizzors however i was stopped so i attempted it again i whent up on a big rocky ledge and wanted to fall ending it all i wanted to be with her. i was stopped. after a while i whent to the doctors they told me i was never pregnant i was still a virgin but due to all this i now suffered with all alcer in my stomache. so there you have it the worst pain in the world and i still suffer with this alcer my beautiful baby girl never excisted but in my heart she did even though she really did not i still cry when i hear the name madison or see a baby with blue eyes blonde hair it kills me inside.