Well, I'm finally 18. I don't have my license yet. But I'm hoping to get it soon. I've got to start looking things up so I can pass the test. I absolutely hate being all bound up here in the house. The more and more I stay, the more and more I want to break out of the house and leave. It's probably the feeling of being trapped here against my will.
My birthday party was really enjoyable though. I got 3 games and a cool nightlight lantern I can use since I can't sleep in the dark. I usually need some sort of semblance of light or else I freak out because I start to lose my vision.
Eh, I wonder how long it'll take me before I'll be able to move out. If I get a job, probably not long. But I honestly can't stand it here any more. I almost broke down quite a few times since the last journal entry due to having no sort of feeling of control.
Which makes me believe that I'll be a bad mom if I ever have kids due to needing some form of control in my life. The other reason is because I messed up health wise. And the 3rd is, I'm afraid I might get in to a relationship with someone who would abuse both the kids and me due to me feeling almost at home in that kind of situation.
On a side note, yeah I'm sick again. But I should be fine. And no, this reply wasn't because I'm sick, it's just because I really felt like making another entry. But I love how public and open I am about all of these things. Not a single entry is private. If I didn't want people knowing, I wouldn't have typed it out in the first place.
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Thoughts on My Mind
Hey there. Here's where I tend to post what's on my mind at the moment. Go figure a lot of it ca be pretty deep. Try not to read too much in to it. I'm generally blunt about things.
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