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As I said goodnight last night to Ian, I felt sort of this emptiness.

The last lines of our Im’s were always the ‘I love yous’ right before bed.

And last night… they were absent.

I know he can’t say it back. No matter how much that I hope he will, how much that I wish he would… he can’t say it back. And in truth, it hurts, but…

I’m okay with it.

If we go back to being friends, then I deal with it. I’m a strong woman.

But there’s always part of me that wishes we were still at the stage. And that part will always wish that we will end up at that stage again, that that love for him will once more develop.

Until then…

This is good enough.