Chapter Three
Affection
--Affection
After that, Kila started going into the forest more often than necessary, every day if she could.
The spring planting season was well under way, and with Chareen’s school year over, her father had left for the city. Both children missed him, though Ian inevitably tried to substitute for their father by smothering her with rules and restrictions. Kila suffered it in silence for once, and never mentioned any of her day trips to the woods for fear that he’d ban them outright. She could tolerate her brother in the evenings if she spent the day under the trees, with the wolf to keep her company.
She was no longer shy about touching him. It became a greeting ritual to drop to her knees once he had appeared, so she could properly hug him and ruffle his fur, lavishing affection on her unusual friend. She learned that he especially liked to be scratched behind the ears and in the ruff along his jaw, and then finally under the chin. She needed no common language to know that he enjoyed her attention, tail whipping back and forth as he lifted and turned his head to show her where to scratch. He’d even begun to lick her face, when she wasn’t on guard against it, and afterwards she’s protest and wipe her skin with her sleeve. But she was never really mad. Actually, she thought that it was rather cute.
Hellos exchanged, Kila would set out to tackle whatever particular chore waited. If she had none, then she would simply wander, scouting for ripening fruit or picking flowers. She never had to worry about getting lost in the forest anymore; her companion was the best guide, and they’d follow his nose home on a straight path.
She was a little nervous, still, that she might have another encounter with bandits. The wolf had saved her the first time, but if men had arrows, it could be dangerous for him. She worried even though she saw no one, but it didn’t occur to her that she never met a soul because the wolf was making sure of it. At least, she hadn’t though about it until he met her one morning with his fur a little blood-splattered… and what might have been a strip of cloth fluttering between his teeth.
“I don’t want to know,” she told him firmly that morning, and didn’t think about it again. At least, not too often.
--
He was a wolf of course, all the ear-scratching and tail-wagging notwithstanding. She heard it that night when the full moon rose over the treetops, provoking a lonely howl from somewhere in that black forest.
She couldn’t even remember ever hearing a wolf’s howl so close before. She knew it was him; there was no question about it. It was eerie, his solitary cry in the night, rising up into the sky and then falling away, never quite stopping, but fading into nothingness like the chime of a bell. As if drawn by the sound, Kila opened the front door and slipped outside, her bare arms freckling with goose bumps when he howled again. It was a cry of defiance, full of anger and fight. But when the sound began to fade, it became sad. Kila could not explain how it happened, but standing there in the darkness, his howling brought tears to her eyes.
It was a sound filled with so much pain.
“Kila!”
She jumped and whirled around to face her brother, standing in the doorway, though she could hardly see him through the blur of her tears. She blinked away the tears and prayed that he didn’t see.
“What are you doing out here?” he asked, barely containing his anger. “It’s not safe.”
She sniffed. “Don’t be silly, brother. I’m just a few steps from the cabin. Nothing will come this close. I only wanted a little fresh air.”
The wolf howled again and Ian frowned at the forest. “There it goes again. It sounds so close, I don’t like it. Maybe I should wait up with a crossbow…”
“No!” Kila shouted, and bit her tongue when he looked at her in surprise. “I mean, it could be dangerous. And besides, if you stay up all night you won’t be able to work in the day. Now that Da is gone, you have to.” Her brother hesitated and Kila smiled in the most reassuring way she could. “You don’t want me to go hungry, do you?”
Ian rolled his eyes and she knew that she’d won.
“You eat too much anyway, you little Monster,” he told her.
She puffed up her cheeks. “Don’t call me that!”
He turned to go back inside. “Come inside before you catch a cold, monster.”
“Brother!” Kila huffed and stamped a foot, but it was obvious that he would not leave her alone out there. Whispering a soft goodnight to the wolf, she turned her back on the forest and went inside.
--
Little by little, the days grew longer ad warmer. Spring blossomed into early summer, as crops began to sprout their shoots and fruit swelled on the branches of the trees. At night the sky became a velvety purple sprinkled with stars, and the moon rose large and pink over the trees. And everyday was more beautiful than the one before, the sky blue and a constant breeze rustling the leaves of the forest to keep Kila cool. Even so, she was huffing a little, trying to keep up with the wolf. They’d been walking for such a long time, and this day he’d taken her deeper into the woods than she’d ever been before.
“Can’t we stop and rest for a little while? This clearing is just as nice as any other… hey, where are we going?” One question followed another with no answer, his steady trot never slowing. After some time, Kila heard water flowing from ahead of them. “Hey, what’s—”
The question on her tongue stopped there when she followed him around an outcrop of boulders and found herself standing before an enchanting waterfall, flowing clear as crystal into the pond at her feet. Ferns and other water loving plants had sprouted anywhere they could, between the rocks, reflecting on the pool’s surface and turning it a soft shade of green. The picture was so lovely that Kila gasped in delight; she’d never dreamed that such a place existed within the forest. The day was so warm and no souls were near, so it was a perfect time to bathe.
Eagerly, Kila pulled at the lace in her bodice and then moved to gather her skirt up. But in doing so, her eyes fell upon the wolf, who was busy lapping up some water from the pond’s edge. Thirst slaked, he backed away and sat, watching her.
Kila hesitated. Modest though her upbringing was, there was no reason a female couldn’t bathe once she was alone. There was no one about, only a wolf, and what did an animal matter? I wasn’t as if he knew, and undressing before him shouldn’t have been an issue.
And yet, somehow, she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. Wild animal or not, Kila could not contemplate swimming with such an audience. Instead she settled for splashing her face and taking a cool drink, and then she settled herself in the shade of a tree. The soil was very moisture-rich and wildflowers were blooming everywhere. She gathered several, and then leaned against the bark and began to make a flower chain. After a few minutes passed, the wolf sidled up next to her and sat down.
“Thank you for bringing me here,” she murmured, and absentmindedly scratched behind his ears. “It’s beautiful. But I don’t feel like swimming right now, so I’m going to do this instead.”
His ears flicked back in her direction as she spoke. Resting there in the shade was very pleasant, and after a while, she began to hum. The flower chain grew longer, and the wolf stretched and adjusted his position. This time he rested her head on her lap and Kila smiled drowsily. It was such a perfect day… if only every day could be just that that. It was truly peaceful.
She when she opened her eyes, she felt disoriented. The shadows of the forest were deep and dark, the pond pink with the reflection with the sunset overhead. An incomplete flower chain and a large wolf were in her lap, and finally Kila realized what had happened.
“Ah! I fell asleep,” she exclaimed, aghast. Startled by the sudden nose, the wolf leapt to his feet, ears pricked warily, but Kila paid him no attention. Flowers scattering to the ground, she jumped up and grabbed her collecting basket. The sun was setting over the trees; she should have been home hours ago!
She put one foot forward, but stopped short at an unexpected tug. Surprised and a little harried, Kila saw that the wolf had taken the corner of her skirt into his teeth.
“Stop it,” she told him firmly. “I have to go now, there’s no time to play.” Impatiently, she tried to pull her skirt back, but the wolf wouldn’t let go, digging his paws into the path, trying to pull her back. “Hey, stop that! You’ll rip my skirt. Stop it, let go!”
His ears flattened at her sharp tone and he whimpered, his eyes full of pleading as he looked up at her. Instantly Kila crumbled with sympathy. “Oh, I’m sorry, but I really do have to go. My brother, if you even know what a brother is…will be worried and I have to go make dinner. I can’t stay out here in the forest all night… I don’t belong here.”
As gently as she could, she worked her skirt free of his grip and this time, he didn’t resist. Kila was seized wit horrible guilt. Was the wolf so lonely that he couldn’t bear to see her go home? He must spend every night alone.
“I really am sorry, but I have to go.” The shadows were growing deeper and before the sky could fall completely dark Kila set off at a fast pace, jogging softly through the trees. The wolf loped easily beside her, showing her the way, for she could never have hoped to find her way home without him. But it was getting harder and harder to see and she knew that she was too late, that she was already in trouble. When she heard her brother’s voice calling her name, a lump a dread formed in her throat. Maybe spending the night in the woods with the wolf wasn’t such a bad idea…
“Kila,” he yelled frantically from the other side of the trees. “Kila!”
“I’m here,” she called out. “I’m coming!”
“Kila!” The immediate relief in his voice made her cringe, she knew how worried he must have been, and she could hear him crashing through the brush in her direction. Quite unexpectedly, the wolf growled.
She snapped her head back down to look at him. “What? What is it?”
The wolf stared into the darkness of the forest in the direction of where her brother’s voice had come from, his lips pulled back in a deadly snarl.
“Kila, where are you?” Ian was coming closer now.
She knelt down and grabbed the wolf’s head firmly in her hands, looking into his eyes. “Shh, stop it!” The wolf shook his head, trying to pull it from her grasp. “Stop it!” she whispered urgently. “It’s just my older brother; he’s not a bad person. He came to find me because I am late.” The wolf didn’t look at her eyes, the menacing growl still rumbling in his throat, and Kila felt a twinge of fear for her brother.
“He’ll be here in a moment; you’ll have to go now. He would never understand if he saw me with you.” She could see his tall forming the shadows now, getting closer and still the wolf hadn’t moved. “Please!” she pleaded. “I promise that I’ll come and see you tomorrow, just… please go now.”
Delicately she placed a hand on his back and he started, causing her to flinch. But his growl died of when he looked at her face and with another undecided glance in Ian’s direction, he bolted. His tail had just barely disappeared into the bushes when her brother burst into the clearing.
“Kila, there you are! Where on earth have you been? Don’t you know what time it is?” Kila shrank under her brother’s furious glare, clasping her hands together apologetically.
“I’m so sorry, brother, I didn’t mean to,” she said as innocently as she could. I was gathering flowers and the sun was so warm…I fell asleep by accident!”
Ian huffed, not looking appeased. “I’ve told you time and time again that these woods are no longer safe, and then you go and fall asleep in them? Gods Kila, what if someone had come along? Or a wild animal?”
“Silly, nothing happened! I’m fine, can’t you see?” As if she would ever have to fear someone hurting her again with the wolf nearby! Kila smiled charmingly, praying that her brother wouldn’t ban her from the forest. Maybe he would be content with only a scolding. Ian opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated, shooting a sharp glance at the underbrush.
“What is it?” she asked almost fearfully.
“Nothing,” he said slowly. “Come, let’s get home. It’s very late.” He clapped a possessive hand on her shoulder and steered her back the way he had come, surprising her by not speaking a single remonstrative word. But he kept looking over his shoulder the entire way home.
--
“Kila.”
She rolled over in bed to see her brother, looking wide awake and very serious. He’d hardy spoken five words throughout all of dinner, scrubbing the dishes by himself after words and then changing for bed. Now in the dark cabin, with only the moonlight in the window to illuminate his face, his black eyes bored into hers and pinned her to the sheets.
“You’d tell me if something happened, right?”
“What?” she asked lightly, feigning obliviousness, but he didn’t seem put off.
“You’ve been acting differently lately and you have this strange look in your eyes sometimes. And you’re always disappearing. You are not meeting with a boy, are you?”
“No!” Kila answered quickly, anxious to erase the fearful look from his expression. “No, I promise I’m not. Nothing’s happened at all. Now I’m tired, so let me go to sleep.”
She rolled over and tugged the sheets to her shin determinedly, ready to fake sleep. Ian chose not to pursue the conversation and after a moment, she felt him roll over to his side of the bed and lie still.
It was more than her afternoon nap keeping Kila awake. He had asked her if she had been meeting with a boy and she had said no, which was the truth.
So why did she feel as though she had lied to him?
