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I've lost count of the days actualy since it all fell apart. Its supriseng to even myself that I've taken so long to write anything down about it...I supose I really ment it when I finaly said I just dident care. The worst pain of my life is over at least for now and I find myself as always still breathing and doing what I knew I would have to do in the first place...start all over again. So here I am stepping back into the mix, I'm still bleading and the sharks in that murky water can smell it I know, maybe this time...if I am lucky...if I fall off the raft...maybe this time I wont resurface. Cheery thoughts arent they? rofl