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I'm thinking of leaving Gaia. Half-joking. In Gaia VJ the other day, someone called me "Dad." I tried to say that I wasn't (that I know of), but everything I said convinced this person all the more, due to my habit of typing in full sentences with approximately correct grammar and capitalization. How on Earth is one to mount a compelling counterargument against an accusation of eloquence?

If you read this, add me as a friend on myspace (www.myspace.com/davidfishercomedian) so I can blog at you somewhere where having an account isn't probable cause for a 2nd degree sexual misconduct with a minor booking.

Speaking of which, if I'm ever in a band, I'd like the name to be "The Registered Sex Offenders." That way, whenever I move to a new neighborhood, I go around door to door, and tell people "Hello, I'm a Registered Sex Offender." Then I hand them a flier for my band, which is doing a concert at a local venue. And they're like "Oh, it's a band, I was freaked for a second. And I'm like, bring the whole family, it'll be fun.