***A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR VER: FORGOT TO SAY, BUT VER 'N AKU COME ABOARD AFTER "FATHER'S DAY" AND CONTINUE POST-TEN/S4, IN A TIMEY-WIMEY SORT OF WAY.***
TOP FIVE WAYS TO GET BOOTED OFF THE TARDIS:
5. Throw your Chucks at the Doctor's head.
4. 'Liberate' the sonic screwdriver and proceed to
BEST WAY TO GET BOOTED OFF THE TARDIS:
'Liberate' the sonic screwdriver and proceed to sonic your eye out.
I love her dearly, but sometimes I just want to strangle Aku. Like when she decides she wants to play with the screwdriver. I'm not an expert at sonic technology, but I'm guessing anything that can triplicate the flammability of something can be pretty deadly. And sometimes I just want to strangle the Doc, because my God - how long does it take you to realize one of your binkies is missing? She stole it mid-tinker, and you'd think he'd realize right away "Oh, my sonic screwdriver's missing!" But no, his Sonic Senses refused to go off, and that led us to Aku, with her liberated screwdriver, messing with the settings in the rec room near the pool.
I'm more than happy to say that I was nowhere near her while all this was happening. I was with Rose, shopping at the bazaar on The Planet That Must Not Be Named (how cool is that? That's their actual name!). The Doc refused to go with us (he said, and I quote: "But Rose, that's why I let you let them on board - so I wouldn't have to be your bag-carrier!" wink , opting instead to spend the time doing some vital repair work on his ship. And Aku...well, see above. Apparently she's been planning this for a while now, so she was more than happy to wave us off with a fond farewell.
And for the nightmare that greeted us upon our return - no, I'm sorry - for the nightmare that greeted us in the changing stalls at that one boutique with the very pretty sari-esque wraps, she's not getting that nice scarf I bought her.
Point is, she was alone, with the sonic screwdriver, and she soniced her eye out. And the Doc found her when the TARDIS started going nuts and Aku started screaming, and he proceeded to drag her - clutching her eye and howling over the pain - to Rose 'n me, while we were both half undressed in the changing stalls. The only plus side to that is the slapping the Doc got when he pulled Rose out of her stall (thinking she was me, because I "had to deal with Aku" - c'mon, he just wanted to see her starkers!) - oh, and the blush when he saw her topless. (And he says he doesn't like her - and that Time Lords don't blush. "Not in my physiology" my foot!)
The Doc said Aku's eye will heal in a few weeks, but until then I'm letting her borrow my eyepatch. Actually, I'm letting her borrow it until we can get somewhere and get her her own, 'cause I want mine back.
And ok, so he didn't really kick us out, but I swear he was about to throw Aku into the nearest black hole. And I can't say I wouldn't have helped. Or that I'm ever believing him again when he says the screwdriver is harmless (quoth the Guide, definition Sol 3: "Mostly harmless." wink .
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THIS IS A PARODY (OF SORTS). It's a joke based on my MySpace bground pic and the subsequent jokes Aku and I made about all the reasons Aku shouldn't go around Nine. All x-posted from MySpace, and yeah. Doctor Who © Auntie Beeb.
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