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bill collectors everywhere can suck on this |
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Time: 1:33 A.M.
Place: Home
Emote: Tired, Angry, Crampy eek burning_eyes stare
Writing on: Computer
Goodness, I'm so angry with everyone and everything. I'm dissapointed with my christmas gifts, because I didn't get a lot of the things I wanted most. In fact my parents bought me a lot of stuff I didn't want. They didn't buy me even half of the CD's I wanted and the thing that I would kill to have I'm sure was not even considered as a present... a video camera. All I ******** want to do is tape myself whining about my crappy life and post it on youtube. Is that to much to ask?? to make fake music videos and crappily paste them over a song with cheep video editing software. but no. I get s**t I didn't want, like beenies. who wants beenies??? im never going to wear it! I was half kidding when I asked my mom for it. I'm being really selfish right now and I know it. I'm just really angry for no reason so I thought I'd write about it instead of video bloggin which is what i reaaaally want to do. I didn't get my Jet Lag Gemini, The Dresden Dolls, Veruca Salt, The Pigeon Detectives, The Dandy Warhols, CDs. I got 100 dollars from my grandma which will only pay for cds , or a nice video camera and I don't want to have to ******** choose. God, I feeling like crying, which is awful, and I feel like those people who get what they want and complain. which is essentially what I'm doing. I'm just so tired of having what I have, and little money. I'm tired of not being able to afford nice things. Most of the stuff I asked for wasn't expensive, and yet Sage gets a bunch of designer s**t, and Jill gets tons of Dvds, and i'm left with the same amount of presents as sage, with the price value of Jills. How does that ******** work??? Sage's s**t was so expensive and mine wasn't. I didn't have time to make a proper list this year because I have so much s**t to do. Between the band and trying to keep up with homework I don't have time. I never have time. I'm one person. It doesn't help that I'm depressed and hardly have the will to get up in the morning. I'm just so tired of being me. Chandler probably got her ******** electric guitar (she's been playinf for a ******** month and I've been playing for three years. ) and an Iphone and Expensive perfume. I'm just tired of everything going to some one else. I'm tired of getting the short end of the stick. I'm tired of budgeting our money and bill collectors calling every ******** day.
I'm just tired of everything
 Victorious_RIot_13 · Thu Dec 27, 2007 @ 07:52am · 0 Comments |
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Time: 12:22 A.M.
Place:Home
Emote biggrin epressed cry
Writing on: Computer
I know it. but I don't want to say it, because once I say it it's fake, and no one believes me. Because nobody can know when there depressed. There always in denial. So I don't say a word, I expect them to see, that with each passing day I get worse... and they don't. And so everday I'm tempted to tell them.... but then they wouldn't believe. It wouldn't be so serious because I was aware of the situation. I'll figure a way out. But I don't. And when the only person you want to talk to is your therapist....you feel like some serial therapy nut; Who has resolved never to get better so they can blab about there boring lives to some who's job it is to listen. And you cry in silence, and make so much noise... so that someone will hear...and they never do..... and you want them to see you.... but it's like your not there. You yell and scream and say awful things that hurt their feelings until you sob because of what you've become. and it's always so selfish....... you you you
********!! I don;t want it to be about me! jsut somebody listen somebody hear somebody barge in while I'm crying and rescue me! please...... that's all I want.....
Victorious_RIot_13 · Mon Dec 24, 2007 @ 06:31am · 0 Comments |
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