... is that God has an abnormally tiny p***s.
It's true. The all-knowing, all-powerful, ever-present creator of the universe and our world is physiologically unable to satisfy a woman.
Even today, Freudian psychologists tell us that at one point, God's p***s envy became so severe that instead of knocking Mary up himself, he paid a Roman centurion named Skip to turn off the lights and do it for him.
Understandably, the consequences frighten him a little. What would happen if the mass of his mighty monkey came into question amongst his faithful proselytes? How would his humble creations react if they were to find an all-powerful being like himself to be improperly endowed with not a godly giving tree but, instead, a barely germinated bean sprout? The results would be devastating.
Since he is conveniently unable to speak for himself, he's forced to round up a collection of vicarious penises to protect his tiny little ego and propagate the sheer enormity of his immortal wang amongst the masses. Anyone found questioning the caliber of his holy hand cannon is labeled a "blasphemer" and considered to be challenging God's masculinity.
Thus, we have what you see today: a perfectly pious penile protectorship that produces and publicly promotes proper pubic praise and propaganda.
Isn't Christianity grand?
Six Billion of Spades Community Member 
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