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Well, I just realized I never enter in my journal anymore. I mean, I was never really a post your thoughts online kind of guy, but I really feel bad for my poor journal. Plus, I felt like no on ever read my journal in the first place. Most of my posts were utterly ignored...or just uncommented. It's fine, though...I doubt anyone will notice this post anyway.

Well...I woke up this morning and felt really sick. My stomach hurt, headache, didn't want to move, etc. My mom let me stay home through first hour, and I really didn't need to come in at all, but I convinced myself that I ought to come in for the rest of they day. I was stupid. My day sucked, when I could have been at home, sleeping. I have to do a teen court case tonight, and being the prosecuting attorney, I look like the mean guy. But, I don't like the defendant anyway, so I don't have to feel bad about it.
I have no inspiration to write in my journal now.

Well, other than the fact I have yet to do my homework, I feel kind of mushy inside. Today, I had to go plant trees with my dad, and it was a really good day and work wasn't hard, so it didn't dampen my mood. Then, I came and got on the computer...had a blast doing that...*laughs* I got one relationship offer, if I lived in Virginia, and I made some new friends. I really haven't had any bad things happen today. Hopefully, it'll stay that way through the next few hours. I wish people read my journal... xp

Just moments ago, I made my 3000th post. It's just a tad bit depressing, seeing as I've been on gaia for 10 months now, and I'm just now getting to that many posts. But, it will be noted that I am more of a lurker, seeing as I have slow internet, and no motivation to just randomly post in places. Of course, if I did, I would have more gold, which I always need. XD. Anyway, that's my input on it. I'm proud for getting this far. Feel free to give me presents. I always like those. Especially those of my friends who are RICH/POWERFUL/FAMOUS/OLD. Hehe. CELEBRATION!

First, it started with my friend Zach calling me a slut, because he seemed to infer that every time I like someone, I'm really thinking, "******** ******** ******** I WANNA ******** ******** ********!" Which, really isn't true, but, typical of Zach, because he's a rude and horrible friend most of the time. In fact, he get in fights so often I can't remember the last time we didn't fight for more than a few weeks. At least there are periods of respite.
Then, this random girl who picked up my email off of a xanga and added me to her MSN kept pestering, and pestering, and slowly pushing me over the edge, with questions like, "So, what do u want to know about me?" and "So, you got a pic?" I just flat out told her, "Alright, as if it wasn't audacious enough for you to randomly add me to your MSN, you bombard me with annoying questions and requests for a picture. You're turning into a pain in the a**." And I blocked her. I felt a little better.
I have, since then, spent the rest of my night feeling badly. It isn't fun to sit around have negative feelings, because they turn into bad ideas, and etc. I wish things would be better for me right now.

Well, I told my ex girlfriend that I was still in love with her last night. It's depressing, because she is convinced that we are better off as friends, because of her bad habits that hurt our relationship. But, I really can't say I don't like her, and it's hard to get over her. But, I have trouble getting over the people I really like. It's a shame.

Also, I feel so much better now, because Zach is soooo much happier now. You can't understand how much better this makes my life. When your best friend is a pissy b***h, then life sucks. At least I made two friends happy at once.

I really don't have much to say today.

Well, I finally did something right in my romantic meddlings. I set my friend up with another friend of mine, and voila! They both get their first boyfriend! Hehe. Yeah, I originally would have never guessed the two would end up together, but I am obviously a decent match maker. Zach, who had previously been despondent, depressing, and extremely bitchy to me, is now in a state of bliss that actually makes him pleasant to be around. Matt is happy too, which makes me happy, because I was his field correspondent for all his romances before, usually me trying to set him up with an assortment of my acquaintances. Finally, two actually had chemistry.

Also, I played on a medium hard oboe reed for the first time today. By played, I meant actually spent an entire rehearsal with one, and played songs, not just tried to get out a few notes. I'm proud of my strong face muscles. It does hurt afterwards, for the first few tries. I actually have really nice tone and volume on the reed, though, so it's a definite plus in the performance area. I really ought to learn to make my own, since this whole concept is extremely expensive. PS: Orchestra is the most boring ensemble I'm in. I live for the moment it turns 5 and I get to leave the accursed two hour rehearsal. It's also really small, which pisses me off. We need more the 6 violins, 2 violas, and a cello to make a real orchestra.

Yes...I'm a band geek. One of those strange sort. I'm literally addicted to it. I learn new instruments every chance I get...try for every honor band, and even play the oboe.

I had a concert tonight...I really enjoyed it, mainly because I got a solo on my oboe, which was pretty good, albeit short. Our music is too low-class for me, but I deal. I've been trying to transfer to a bigger school so I can play better music and have better academics, etc., but my 'rents won't let me. I've threatened to legally emancipate myself since the start of this year. And, now, I finally can, though I doubt I will...I need the financial assistance. *laughs* I don't know how this came out of my band geekness...but whatever.

On a final note, Woodwinds are the best. Brass stink. Percussion are dumb. No, not really...I play brass as well...or rather, I'm learning.

Done.

I think I'm falling in love again. I met a great girl tonight, named Honey, who I can't stop thinking about...we click marvelously. The only problem is the distance between us, but it may not matter if we never come together. It's still nice to think that she exists.

On a different note, I wrote a song tonight. I need only to find appropriately angsty music to accompany its lyrics. I will bless you all with the words:

Mix N Margaret

She sits alone Mix n' Match
A broken doll This puzzle without a piece
Without a psyche of her own Nothing quite fits right anymore
But no one cares This puppet without strings
She's all mixed up inside Let's play pretend
Her emotions full of tears Mix n' Match, Mix N Margaret

Mix n' Match
The body with a soul
She doesn't have one anymore.
No purpose for her life
Let's play pretend
Mix n' Match, Mix N Margaret.

Guess what she was
Before the crash
When her life was still a buzz
She had it all
But one man took it back
Now what she's got are 4 blank walls.

Mix n' Match
This girl with a new love
She doesn't have one anymore
No reason for her to breathe
Let's play pretend.
Mix n' Match, Mix N Margaret

Love is hell
Hearts always break
Crushed her heart, now she's just a shell
He kept her soul
He gave her back rest
Wasn't it nice of him to leave her with this hole?

It's all about a girl who is left an emotional wreck after a man dumps her. I'd like some input on the lyrics if possible.