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FELLOWS DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS: |
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FELLOWS DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS:
1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better."
This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness.
If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this
will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).
3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls
are like dogs; they love to be roughed up.
4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If
she is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will
show her you care.
5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be
her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and
every girl needs some improvement.
6. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then
when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because
jewelry is for wussies and Asian ladies.
7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When
she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words "**** you" and grab the other
girl's a**. Girls love competition.
8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she
thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard.
When she starts to get upset, tell her you were just kidding and now you're
really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she
starts crying and asks why you would do something like that, lean over and
whisper very quietly into her ear "…because I can."
9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick." Women love those
special nicknames.
10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.
11. Warm her up when she's cold…and not by giving her your jacket,
because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say
"if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now, you're going to be
bitching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.
12. Take her to a party. When you get there, she'll have to go to the
bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the
party is dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you all
night.
13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet.
Kick the pet. Guys always find stuff like that funny…why shouldn't girls?
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10
minutes, then jump up and scream in her ear. Repeat until she goes
home and you can use your arms for more important things (like basketball).
15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.
16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give
her self-confidence, then you can never turn her into the object she deep
down desires to be.
17. Every time you're in her house, steal one of her shoes, earrings
or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This
way, she'll go crazy.
18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order, interrupt
and say "no, she's not hungry." Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy
that speaks for her.
19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her in the face. Girls
love a spontaneous guy.
20. Give her one of your t-shirts, and make sure it has your smell on
it (but not a sexy cologne smell…a bad smell. You know what I'm talking
about).
21. When it's raining, keep asking her if she's crying. She'll say
"no, it's just the rain." Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream at
her to stop crying. Girls like a tough man.
22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.
23. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her
no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.
24. Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her that
material objects arent important. The only thing that's important is
that she keeps you happy, and your happiness is the greatest present she
can ever get.
25. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas or just
whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you know
she's coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have the
present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one
that much, but guys think it's funny.
26. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will,
promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will
make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call that you're
going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Don't
call
 yUkHi · Fri Jun 22, 2007 @ 11:36pm · 0 Comments |
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GAIANS READ THIS!!! iTs FoR yOuR oWn KnOwLeDgE |
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Read this and make a copy for your files in case you need to refer to it someday. Maybe we should all take some of his advice!
A corporate attorney sent the following out to the employees in his company.
1. The next time you order checks have only your initials (instead of first name) and last name put on them. If someone takes your checkbook, they will not know if you sign your checks with just your initials or your first name, but your bank will know how you sign your checks.
2. Do not sign the back of your credit cards. Instead, put "PHOTO ID REQUIRED".
3 When you are writing chec ks to pay on your credit card accounts, DO NOT put the complete account number on the "For" line. Instead, just put the last four numbers. The credit card company knows the rest of the number, and anyone who might be handling your check as it passes through all the check processing channels won't have access to it.
4. Put your work phone # on your checks instead of your home phone. If you have a P.O. Box, use that instead of your home address. If you do not ha ve a P.O. Box, use your work address. Never have your SS# printed on your checks.(DUH!) You can add it if it is necessary. But if you have it printed, anyone can get it.
5. Place the contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine. Do both sides of each license, credit card, etc. You will know what you had in your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel. Keep the photocopy in a safe place. I also carry a photocopy of my passport when travel either here or abroad. We've all heard horror stories about fraud that's committed on us in stealing a name, a ddress, Social Security number, credit cards.
Unfortunately I, an attorney, have firsthand knowledge because my wallet was stolen last month. Within a week, the thieve(s) ordered an expensive monthly cell phone package, applied for a VISA credit card, had a credit line approved to buy a Gateway computer, received a PIN number from DMV to change my driving record information online, and more. But here's some critical information to limit the damage in case this happens to you or someone you know:
1. We have been told we should cancel our credit cards immediately. But the key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know whom to call. Keep those where you can find them.
2. File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where your credit cards, etc., were stolen. This proves to credit provider s you were diligent, and this is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever is one).
But here's what is perhaps most important of all: (I never even thought to do this.)
3. Call the 3 national credit reporting organizations immediately to place a fraud alert on your name and Social Security number. I had never heard of doing that until advised by a bank that called to tell me an application for credit was made over the Internet in my! name. T he alert means any company that checks your credit knows your information was stolen, and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new credit.
By the time I was advised to do this, almost two weeks after the theft, all the damage had been done. There are records of all the credit checks initiated by the thieves' purchases, none of wh ich I knew about before placing the alert. Since then, no additional damage has been done, and the thieves threw my wallet away. This weekend (someone turned it in).
It seems to have stop ped them dead in their tracks.
Now, here are the numbers you always need to contact about your wallet, etc., has been stolen:
1.) Equifax: 1-800-525-6285
2.) Experian (formerly TRW): 1-888-397-3742
3.) Trans Union : 1-800-680-7289
4.) Social Security Administration (fraud line): & amp; nbsp;1-800-269-0271
We pass along jokes on the Internet; we pass along just about
everything.
But if you are willing to pass this information along, it could really
help someone that you care about.
yUkHi · Mon Sep 11, 2006 @ 05:18am · 0 Comments |
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AbOuT mE n ThOsE bOrN uNdEr tHe YeAr oF tHe TiGeR gRRRoOWLLL |
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WeLL sInce I DidnT sTarT oFf inTroDucIng mySelf I miNd aS weLL dO iT nOw.. hehe
The Name iS yUkHi. I'm 19 years old and a sophomore in college Majoring in BioMed. I Love pLayiNg PC Games and mmorpgs. Things like hiking, skiing, or traveling i love to do also. I'm outgoing, fun, and sweet ( unless you get on my bad side i will domokun i will tear at u with my Claws ) LOL jk I LOVE ANIME!! I'm into dragons and tigers..SINce I'm Born iN tHe Year of THe TigEr..I love it ....
The Tiger
The Tiger is said to be lucky vivid, lively and engaging. Another attribute of the Tiger is his incredible bravery, evidenced in his willingness to engage in battle or his undying courage. Maybe he’s so brave because he is so lucky. But the Chinese say a Tiger having a Tiger in the house is the very best protection against the evils of fire, burglary.
Years of the Tiger
Tiger Years are third in the cycle and recur every twelfth year. The Chinese New Year does not fall on a specific date, so it is essential to check the calendar to find the exact date on which each Tiger year actually begins.
THE SIGN OF THE TIGER
Tigers do not find worth in power or money. They will be completely honest about how they feel and expect the same of you. On the other hand, they seek approval from peers and family. Generally, because of their charming personalities Tigers are well liked. Often, failing at a given task or being unproductive in his personal or professional life can cause a Tiger to experience a depression. Criticism from loved ones can also generate this type of Tiger reaction. Still, like all felines, Tigers always land on their feet, ready for their next act in life, pursuing it with unyielding energy and hunting it infallibly.
Tigers are also incorrigibly competitive - they simply cannot pass up a challenge, especially when honor is at stake, or they are protecting those they love. Tigers are unpredictable and it would be unwise to underestimate their reactions. They may appear cool, but they have the Big Cat's instincts to pounce at a moment's warning. Natural leaders, they have a strong sense of their own dignity, and if they find
themselves in the ranks, they can be stubborn and obstinate. In positions of power they can be difficult though stimulating bosses. Tigers are intelligent, alert, and farsighted. They have their fingers on the pulse. Good strategists and tacticians, they often have a hidden agenda. As long as they do not risk their luck too often, and keep their restless nature under control, their tactics usually pay off in life.
TIGER FACTS:
People born in the year of the Tiger share certain characteristics. The Tiger sign is an abbreviated way of characterizing that individual’s personality. Following are features associated with the sign of the Tiger.
Third in order, Chinese name - HU, sign of courage
Hour--am-4:59am Month--February
Western counterpart—Aquarius
CHARACTERISTICS
Courage, Vehemence, Self-Reliance, Friendliness, Hopefulness, Resilience, Vanity, Disregard
IN YOUR ELEMENT
The characteristics of the Tiger are tempered by one of the five Chinese elements of Metal, Water, Wood, Fire and Earth overlaying a 5-year cycle of characteristics on the original 12-year cycle.
THE METAL TIGER 195O AND 2010
The Metal element gives the Tiger its sharpness in action and speed of thought. Tigers born in the Metal year like to stand out in a crowd. With an inspiring assertiveness and competitive demeanor, they determine their goals and then do anything necessary to achieve them. This good-looking character sometimes suffers from mood swings and temper tantrums. The Tiger can be known to jump to conclusions or to act too quickly without weighing the options or understanding the consequences. This is a flaw Tigers must learn to curb.
THE WATER TIGER 1902 AND 1962
The Water element gives the Tiger a soothing characteristic making this breed a bit more tranquil. Their ability to consider feelings and ideas from other people makes them quite sensible and understanding. They are also born with a great intuitive power, which gives them accurate and excellent judgement. The Tiger is a bit indecisive, a habit of nature born of his routine of watching and waiting before leaping. Sometimes too, Tigers get caught sleeping or daydreaming, prohibiting them from going for the goals they initially set out to accomplish.
THE WOOD TIGER 1914 AND 1974
The Wood Tiger is more adaptable to working with others and therefore does not demonstrate the typical "take charge" attitude of other Tigers. The Wood element adds stability, giving him warmth of character that draws people in and makes the Tiger a popular person. They are not selfish creatures and will give their time, attention or possessions to anyone in need. These Tigers bring a solid practicality to any problem. They can control their urges to completely take over, letting others do the work. They must be aware of their slightly volatile tempers and short attention spans, and not let those characteristics get the best of them or cause them or their loved ones undue pain.
THE FIRE TIGER 1926 AND 1986
Eccentric and dramatic, Fire Tigers are aglow with passion and verve. They are outgoing, expressive and look on the bright side of things. They have the Tiger’s natural ability to lead others and are able to excite others simply with their own gift of enthusiasm. They can be funny and have great senses of humor. Tigers are powerful speakers and have the ability to command and persuade crowds through speech. Their own seemingly endless supply of energy can make them appear a bit dramatic, and it may make them more sensitive to cautious or down-to-earth approaches in others.
THE EARTH TIGER 1938 AND 1998
Earth Tigers are realists and tend not to get caught up by their own enthusiasm and excitement. They have a stout and sincere sense of responsibility that other Tigers haven’t quite cultivated and are not so easily distracted. These Tigers take life a little easier and have the ability to focus for longer periods of time, which in turn brings them success through continued effort. Earth Tigers must be careful not to take life too seriously and must remember not to lose their senses of humor or to ignore the needs and feelings of others.
HEALTH AND HOME
HEALTH
Tigers tackle everything in their lives in brief bursts of energy, collapsing afterwards in a heap of exhaustion. Normally they are soon back to full strength, but their approach can cause their long-term health to suffer. They should take it a little easier and learn to pace themselves to keep active longer and to prevent early burnout. They are blessed with flexibility and recover quickly from illness or pain. They owe it to themselves to relax a little. Along with the fitness of their long-term health, Tigers must be aware of how they react to and are affected by the consequences of their tempers. A Tiger’s meanest enemy is the damage he can inflict upon himself in the midst of a temper tantrum.
AT HOME WITH THE TIGER
Tigers take pride in being different than others and generally illustrate their originality best in their homes. Tigers can utilize their atmosphere with color and light. A Tiger’s home will be filled with exotic treasures from trips past and will include items such as Tibetan prayer mats or African carvings, confirming their desire to travel to distant places.
CAREER AND FINANCE
THE TIGER ON THE JOB
A quickness and an alert intelligence make Tigers fast learners. Tigers need a challenge. Add this to them being easily bored and it explains why Tigers tend to change careers more often than other Chinese Animals. Some Tigers don’t change their occupations frequently enough and thus tend to juggle jobs all at the same time. Most Tigers are natural born leaders who perform best knowing they are working towards positions of power and influence.
MONEY AND THE TIGER
Tigers depend on luck. They like to spend money, and also to share it. They can be quite impulsive spenders because they know they can always make more. Somehow, as luck would have it, they discover the end of the rainbow just before complete bankruptcy. They are willing to lose a fortune in their lifetime, if it means they will wind up with two.
TIGER CAREERS
Those born in the Year of the Tiger share the same kinds of goals and objectives in life. The occupations best suited for the Tiger are listed below:
CONGENIAL BUSINESS PARTNERS
Whether Tigers are compatible with their business partners depends on whether their signs are harmonious or antagonistic to those of their business partners. Considering the congruity of their own characters and the characters of their business partners can also be very useful.
LIKES AND DISLIKES
Since Tigers are born under the same Animal Sign, they often share likes and dislikes. Following are similar likes and dislikes of the Tiger personality.
Tigers Dislike: Not getting enough recognition for their efforts. Being inferior to others at work, impolite people
THE TIGER ON VACATION
Tigers like to live on the edge, to travel long distances conquering thrills and fears along the way. Never the homebody, Tigers prefer activity and excitement to relaxing days by the ocean reading a good book. They leave on a whim and return when they are ready to plan their next vacation. Action-filled getaways are sure to get a Tiger away for a long time!
FRIENDS AND ENEMIES
Tigers, born under the third Animal sign of the Chinese Zodiac, have the ability to lift the spirits of even the most depressed or lonesome individual they meet. Because of that attitude, Tigers have no problem making new friends. Actually, a Tiger person without a friend is quite miserable and sad. Like the Dragon, the Monkey, and the Rat, Tigers are most comfortable surrounded by friends and family.
As friends, Tigers are exceptionally warm and incredibly generous with their time, attention and money. Friends are always welcome in a Tiger’s home and will most often be greeted with a cup of coffee, an ear, a tissue, an open mind and an open wallet. Few friends could be as caring and affectionate, as quirky and surprising, or as genuinely interested as the Tiger.
Compatible Friends
Best Friends: Horses and Dogs
Mortal Enemy: Monkeys
TIGER PARENTS AND BABIES
Tiger parents are quite similar to the characters of their wildlife counterparts. They will walk through fire to protect their children or to defend them to others. As warm and affectionate as they are, they can become fierce and defensive when their kids are at stake. They lavish their offspring with treats and spoil them with generosity. Tiger parents can be fun as kittens, playing family games and getting great enjoyment from it. On the whole, they enjoy their children's company, having a good laugh and sharing a funny joke. Still, adult Tigers will become enraged if one of their children has gone too far, or is disrespectful. As open-minded and liberal as they are, they will not, under any circumstances, tolerate bad manners, or a lack of respect for other adults.
They take their role as parents very seriously, and they believe in the value of a good education. When their kids are small, Tigers like to tell them tales and read them stories. They like to talk about their childhood experiences, and use their stories to instill moral lessons or any ethical feelings. Tigers are decidedly convinced to make themselves the very best role models for their children that they can be.
TIGER INFANT AND CHILD
Tiger babies and children are cheerful children with a zest and passion for life that ignites their curious nature. Boys will and girls alike will enjoy the competitiveness and athleticism sports require. From an early age, Tiger children can’t pass on a dare or a challenge. Intelligent and friendly, Tiger children carry a curiosity about life and their environment. In class, they are apt to enjoy and do better at subjects that give them the ability and creative freedom to express themselves.
TIGER PARENT/CHILD KINSHIPS
Some parents immediately click with their children and others find they will never have a close relationship, no matter how hard they try to make it happen. Following are the compatibility ratings between Tiger parents and their children.
LOVERS AND SPOUSES
THE TIGER LOVER
Tigers are incredibly sexy people, beautiful to most people and sensually romantic. They are spontaneous lovers who never lose their creative spark or flare for an evening of passion. They offer their partner a hint of danger and exhibit a curiosity for the unknown.
MARRIAGE
Once a Tiger has committed himself to you, he can tend to want to dominate or lead you. This is a natural nurturing mechanism and must be kept under close watch to avoid complete control. For the negative effects a Tiger can have on
his partner, there are a zillion positive things he will bring to the relationship. Trust, passion, politeness and spontaneity are only a few characteristics of the Tiger mate.
THE TIGER LOVE PARTNER
Tigers love excitement and need someone who can keep up with all they want to do and see. His partner must also be able to stand the mood swings, the ups and downs, the good with the bad. Chinese horoscopes are very specific about which partnerships have the potential to be successful in love and in business. Yet, though destiny can point us ion the right direction, we must still make all efforts to maintain loving relationships. Following is a brief description of how a Tiger will affect a relationship with other Animal signs
ARIES TIGER
Volatile and active, these people are whirlwinds who must enjoy open spaces and a lot of activity. Feeling pinned down to one decision or one destination is an Aries Tiger’s worst nightmare. These people are generous and brave as well as deeply passionate people.
LIBRAN TIGER
These Tigers play fair and value justice in their everyday lives. They are known to flail in their own personal decision-making efforts.
TAUREAN TIGER
More down-to-earth than other Tigers, these people are practical and will finish tasks they start. They work well under pressure and can maintain their workloads through amazing efforts. They are passionate in their partnerships and provide stability to their loved ones.
SCORPIO TIGER
This is the most intense Tiger of them all. Scorpio Tigers are deeply emotional and sensitive people, extremely focused on the task at hand. They are strong-willed and motivated and don’t like contradiction.
GEMINI TIGER
These people like to move about freely. They yearn to see new places and to meet new people in their travels. They are quirky, funny, intelligent and lively and are more comfortable being the life of the party than being a guest there.
SAGITTARIAN TIGER
These Tigers have a great appetite for life and thrust themselves into everyday of their lives. They are mostly extroverts who enjoy being out and about in strange places. They also like to be spontaneous and often jump to conclusions before weighing the consequences.
CANCERIAN TIGER
The Cancerian Tiger is a romantic individual who is sensitive and tenderhearted. This character needs a loving, honest relationship to thrive.
CAPRICORN TIGER
These people work long, hard hours to achieve the level of success they believe they are destined for. Their career will always be the most important thing in their lives, with love and relationships following a close second and third.
LEONINE TIGER
This Tiger expects the respect he believes he deserves. He works hard for his status and position and commands a certain presence when he enters a room.
AQUARIAN TIGER
These Tigers ignore the rules and regulations of society and choose instead to focus on matters of the heart. They tend to forget about the emotions involved in these matters, which causes them to seem harder and less sensitive.
VIRGO TIGER
These Tigers can be pretty picky when it comes to choosing a partner. They have an eye for detail that can cause them to be a little neurotic at times.
PISCEAN TIGER
Quite sensitive and kind, these Tigers are a bit more reserved than most. They are patient and loving and often supress the fiery passions that can accompany the Tiger personality. Once they decide they want a partner, they will stop at nothing to get him or her.
yUkHi · Sat Sep 09, 2006 @ 12:11am · 1 Comments |
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