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...My Journal!... |
My journal will be so I can tell you what rad (or sad...) things in my life! |
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MelancholysPride
Community Member
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 @ 02:35am
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Hey, I found it. It was recovered by my computer. biggrin Here we go:
Sometimes, I’ll be driving and then, mentally, I’m not. I’ll be going along toward my destination or something when I won’t even be paying attention to my driving. I’ll be too busy thinking about whatever is pressing in my mind. I guess that could mean that I’m easily distracted, which I guess is true. I’ve got a short attention span. But, if I like what I’m doing and it engages me, I’ll be quite devoted to it until it’s done. I’d say that an example of this is when I’m doing layout for the paper. It’s quite tedious sometimes, but I love doing it. And, not to sound cocky, but the truth is that I’m really good at it. In fact, I’m a lot better at it than most of the journalism staff. It’s actually pretty frustrating when I see people who disregard things that I would have fixed right away or when they do something a different way than the most efficient, best way. I suppose I’m being arrogant right now. I hate it when people do that kind of stuff. A lot of the time, when I write about me, I feel like I’m being self-centered, which is something I really don’t want to be. I suppose that’s why I don’t write about myself very much. And because I just want to be consistent and if I keep writing, contradictions are sure to appear. And, of course, I don’t want that.
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MelancholysPride
Community Member
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 @ 06:43pm
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Sometimes, I feel like there is a point where if you act happy, even if you’re not, you will become so. However, it doesn’t really work that way for me. If I’m sad, I’m sad. I can be acting happy. I can be hyper and loud and rude and quirky, but not happy. Right now, even though this situation is mostly my own decision, I feel like there isn’t anyone who has got time for me.
When I write this type of journal, it disappoints me because then I’m not able to keep up my strong, independent, confident persona. I want from myself the consistency I expect from everyone and everything around me. Inconsistency is one of the things I hate most. I don’t want to be a hypocrite, but I suppose that it is just human nature. With every event that occurs, with everything that happens, we change. No one is ever the same.
Though I would like it to be, there isn’t anything I can do to make the world consistent. I do love change. I can adapt to any situation that is put before me. I can make the best of what happens. But, I just want me- if nothing else- to be one of the constants in my life. Me, my wants, my feelings, my persona.
Oh well. I’m acting so hyper and crazy because I’m reminiscing and restless at the same time. Right now, I’m not really like the present. ^^’ I either want it to be the way it once was, or the way I want it to be in the future. I want to get out of this school, out of this town, and away.
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