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♥Stars last what seems an eternity to humans. They sit in the sky, floating around, but their movements are too minuscule for us to actually see. It almost makes you wonder if the stars talk to each other, if they're never bored.
Even if there is no solid evidence to back up my claims, I believe that stars do talk to each other. I believe that some of the stars do want something more than the ability to look upon the earth and illuminate the world.
It still bugs me, the way I couldn't do anything for her in the end. We had our misunderstandings, and we had far more than our share of scruples. However, despite the years that have passed, I have been unable to forget her. I've had a couple dates, a couple girlfriends I thought the world of, but eventually I realized that I still missed her.
Had our relationship been between two average people, once we split it'd have been the end of us. Maybe it would have taken months for us to recover, if we ever split at all, but eventually we would have gotten over it. The only problem is that she wasn't average at all. She was extraordinary, and so many things remind me of her - from the mall where we had our first date to my own home, a place she often visited.
Yesterday, I received a folder filled with pages that had haphazard writing on them, like the writer had been in a hurry. After skimming through, I realized that it was her writing. Her story, from the beginning of her downfall to the very end. Her story didn't help my condition, for now I only want her more.
I have decided to share this tale with you. I don't care if you don't believe a single word written. I do, and that's enough for me. Most of the events written have occurred with me by her side, and I remember those events with as much clarity as she holds herself.
Besides, if this is her story, then she must be somewhere on earth... right? Perhaps she doesn't look herself anymore, or maybe her gender's different, or maybe she is now different age... Whatever it is, I want to hold on to the belief that she's back for me, at least until the day when I finally manage to forget her.
Well, without further ado, here is her version of our short-lived romance.
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That day, I woke up crying. I didn't even notice the tears at first, as I repeated my daily routine. Once I finally realized that my face was completely drenched, I stood in front of the mirror, wondering why. I blamed it on the dream I'd had, although I didn't remember my dream. I had the vague feeling that I'd had a dream, something about stars, but I couldn't bring the details to the front of my mind no matter how hard I tried.
I was a fairly average sophomore, with decent grades and a group of friends that I enjoyed hanging out with. My parents were nice, and the only thing I lacked was a boyfriend.
Selfish and ignorant as I was, I had so many expectations when it came to a boyfriend. He had to be nice, funny, laugh at my lame jokes, be utterly devoted to me, smart, rich, and he had to look at least decent. I was not about to walk around with a monster, because that would only embarrass me.
Surprisingly, there were two who fit most of those criteria. One of them was devoted not to me but to my best friend, Anne. The other guy was the guy I currently harbored feelings for. His name was Ben Grayhone, and he was so nice and hot. He was also one of the smartest kids, and he was the non-annoying counterpart to the average teacher's pet. Too bad he only thought of me as one of his many classmates.
After getting ready, I walked to school as slowly as I could without being late. I fully expected Ben to bump into me, apologize, then walk me to school after recognizing me. I was obsessed with the teen romantic comedies, but back then, walking like that was a habit deeply engraved in me.
I would pretend to be looking at nature contently, because there's no greater turnoff than some girl who is solely devoted to finding a boyfriend. It was like an unspoken fact, and my friends and I never even hinted about wanting a boyfriend when guys were nearby. None of us knew why we thought that, but it was our religion to look patient - not desperate.
Anna and her boyfriend, Gary, were waiting for me in our first class, English. She looked almost giddy, although I could tell that she was trying hard to suppress the emotion. It had to be about a guy.
"A transfer student," she huffed, "is going to be in the same English class as us. What do you think? Perfect chance to net a boyfriend, right? Try your best." I rolled my eyes at her. She knew who I liked, and there was no way the transfer student would even be half as great as Ben Grayhone. I couldn't say that, though. Ben was also in this class, and I didn't want him to know my feelings for him just yet.
"Come on, Alice," said Gary. "You have no chance with the guy you like. You might, once you stop avoiding him. And since you don't think anyone else in this school's worth a second glance, the transfer student is your perfect chance. I hear he's pretty cool." I pouted. I was not avoiding Ben, only using a strategy to make him realize what he's missed out on. Of course, it wasn't working, but I was trying my hardest to make him notice me.
The bell rang, and we quickly dashed to our assigned seats. The teacher entered with someone I'd never seen before a split second later. He was obviously the transfer student. He had platinum blonde hair and pale blue eyes. His skin was just a few shades darker than his own hair, and he was good-looking, but he was not my type.
"Hello," the teacher greeted, her voice as squeaky high as ever. "This is Jesse. He's new to this school. Jesse, you can sit in that empty seat." I looked to my right, to a seat that had not been occupied since the beginning of the school year. Great, I was about to say bye to tossing my stuff at the empty desk and chair. This class had always been my favorite class because I was never cramming a ton of stuff onto either the small desk or the dirty floor. Obviously, things were about to change.
"Oh, and," the teacher began. "Before we start the lesson, who would be willing to introduce Jesse to this school?" Before he could even close his mouth, somebody's hand cut straight up through the air rapidly, like a spring that was compressed for too long. It was Anna, and at first I was surprised. Last time I'd checked, she wanted to spend all her time with Gary. The teacher looked at her, impressed, only to be noticeably disappointed by the words that flew out of her mouth.
"Alice wants to volunteer," she said. My mouth snapped open in both denial and shock. But somehow, when the teacher asked me to confirm, it is Gary's voice that resonated in the room.
"Of course she does." His voice was gruff, but even I could see how hard he was trying to conceal a chortle. The teacher nodded and dictated a set of instructions for me. I wanted to back out, but the relieved expression on both his and the transfer student's faces stopped me. I hated what Gary and Anna had gotten me into, but I decided to introduce the new guy to the school and all anyways.
I wondered if Ben would misunderstand, and I wondered if that was for the better or for worse. Would he think that I liked the transfer student? Would he be jealous or would he just shrug it off, crossing me off from the list of single girls? Jealousy would be awesome, while the latter was so not cool. As class resumed, I was too busy thinking about Ben to pay attention to the lesson. I looked at him, and our eyes accidentally met. My pencil falls from my grip, which had loosened from the surprise. He smiled at me, and I tried to smile back. I was secretly worried: just how red was my face? Apple red?
When class ended, the transfer student dashed to me like a puppy wagging its tail. I thought I saw Ben smirk through the corner of my eye, but I was probably mistaken. Ben was too good to smirk.
"Hey, Jack," I greeted with a wave.
"Jesse," he corrected awkwardly. I repeated his name and apologized. Maybe I should have paid more attention to the teacher, because I bet he'd repeated the name multiple times. But of course, I had to be too caught up with staring at Ben instead... an action I didn't regret, actually, because I had gotten to see him smile at me. The smile had felt like a thousand butterflies in my stomach, trembling and dancing all at once.
While I only had three of the same classes as Ben, I had six out of the eight periods together with Jesse. A brouhaha ensued inside my head as I desperately wished that Ben and Jesse would somehow manage to swap classes. I tried not to let it show on my face, but I had always been an open book. I think Jesse realized after the first few seconds that I didn't exactly enjoy his company.
School ended faster than I thought it would, and it was time to give Jesse a legit tour. I led him around the school building, introducing him to some of the teachers. They all seemed impressed by the fact that I, of all people, was helping him. It was then that I realized that I didn't have a very good reputation with the teachers, and Jesse laughed as I started grumbling with disappointment.
The high school I attended was pretty big, but its design was simple. There was little to help Jesse with, and the aid ended earlier than I had expected it to. Jesse also had an amazing memory, and by the end of the short session, he had memorized the entire staff body along with their individual habits, hobbies, and pet peeves. From what I told him about the teachers, he figured out more than I ever knew. It was impressive, really.
I waved good-bye, about to go drive myself home, when he suddenly grabbed my wrist and told me to stop. I turned around to ask him what was wrong.
"You like Ben, don't you?" he asked. I gaped at him, and he smiled knowingly. "I can help you, you know. We're not best friends or anything, but he's my cousin." He had to be lying. If they were cousins, why didn't Ben volunteer in that first period class? Then it dawned on me that maybe, just maybe, Ben would have volunteered if only Anna hadn't recommended me before the teacher had even finished talking. Ben was respectful, and there was no doubt in my mind that he was just waiting for the teacher to finish talking.
"Please do," I said as I grabbed Jesse's wrists desperately. I wasn't enough of an idiot to let this chance go. This was the present I'd been waiting for. I would kneel and beg if he wanted me to. I'd liked Ben for years, and this opportunity was golden. From what I could tell, he didn't even want anything in return.
"On Saturday, let's meet at the Starbucks closest to this school," he said. "At ten in the morning."
Wait, what?
 Chiseri · Sun Nov 11, 2012 @ 07:10pm · 0 Comments |
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