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It's my fault for not working hard enough. I let everyone down, humiliated myself in front of other competitors. People who came and left, have heard me. I am nothing left but a empty shell. I want to cry, but I can't. As I watch the rain drop, like a flood of great sadness. As I see the rainbow, I think, can I really start again? Can I get over this tremor, that set my life backwards. I am living in a empty world. Although the encourage me, can I really come back? I finished it, they applauded me, seeming as though they were encouraging me for a better luck next time, but there's one person, that i cannot forgive myself for messing up in front of. He is old, he taught me much, he took his own time to come, even when he did not. All the teachers, all the students, all the professors, can I forgive myself? He has been waiting for me to shine, but what do I give him. Lost hope, the hope of gaining more status, the hope of watching me shine, like a treasure I am, my talent is gone. The lights that shone down, on the stage, no longer welcome's me, for I am afraid. I drew back into my shell, and I can no longer perform without remembering this horrible experience. The hope of being able to stand up again, has the world ended for me? The hope's of shining, the hopes of performing, the hopes of screaming in joy, the hopes'... I have lost.
One day, will I regain my footing? to get back on track, the competitive side of me, the hope of making him proud, and leave with no regret. My parents, did they welcome me? They were disappointed, my worst performance, but they aren't sad for themselves, for they are sad for the professor. The hope's of regaining my confidence, to compete on stage again, to face my opponents with no regrets of the past,
The hope's, that I will never get back.
 AquaRima10100 · Mon Mar 19, 2012 @ 03:01am · 0 Comments |
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