It's 2am and she's sitting in the dark, drunk as the loneliness consumes her. It takes over her soul and grips onto her heart and in that moment she lacks the will to breathe anymore. She absolutely loathes the heart that still beats inside her chest, so desperate to keep her alive. With a mind that's bent on dying and a body that fights to survive, it's a miracle that she even drags herself out of bed every morning. She can't explain this creeping depression that has attached itself to her life over the years. She bottles every emotion so deep inside herself because every person that has offered to listen to her deepest regrets has considered her insane.
So here she sits, barely breathing. Her hearts aches and she can't sleep because her brain tortures her with what she has done. Is that the person she has become? For some one who has been so kind and compassionate to the rest of the human race, she lacks even an eighth of what she has given to the world. There is nobody to turn to. Nobody who is willing to listen to such sad thoughts of a decaying heart. For those that can find nothing wrong with their lives, those kind of disgusting thoughts make them uncomfortable. They make her look vulnerable. They make her look weak and pathetic and self centered. If they ever took a look inside her brain, they might understand the things she does. The things she says. The lies she tells.
I fell.
I'm okay.
My day has been wonderful, how about yours?
She goes home to her apartment and she just drinks. She sits there alone and thinks about all of the feelings she wishes she could share with somebody, but they're too real. People will get worried. Is there something to worry about? Maybe. She thinks about a lot of things. How many of those pills will take take the pain away? How many beers will it take to forget how insufferably miserable she is?
Who would miss her....
Why did she not have the courage to really live out the fantasies she had in her head?
Her life has been slipping from her grasp for years and one day she may not be alive to cry out another lonely night.
-_Macabre-Misery_- Community Member 
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