I don't feel like I have anything to offer anyone.
I give people things like my father did because I don't believe people could genuinely like me. My father was depressed too especially since I was groomed to hate him.
Before people ask, I am not at risk of doing anything to myself. You can relax.
My fear is beyond all of that, I don't have anything else. People with BPD can be hard to be friends with because we are seen as unstable and attention seeking.
I just wish I wasn't so scared and that I had something to offer people besides here take my stuff. Like why do I even do this? Why do I put myself through such emotional turmoil.
And why is it that I can't trust that people actually like me? I really don't know. I've just been so down lately but I'm scared of people finding out. And I know the only attention I can get is negative. Because otherwise I've been forgotten.
That's been my entire life. If i can do something for someone or if I show negative moods, then I'm there. If I attempt to be myself, I don't exist.
ChaosPariah Community Member 
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