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The Reason I Breathe (My Love) |
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I have always believed that love takes compromise and sacrifice. I was wrong. I've had so many terrible relationship that I tried to sacrifice and change to suit the other. It was horrible. I tried to appreciate their tastes in music and movies and games. I thought that would give me a better connection to them. It didn't work. I tried to broaden their interests with some of mine, It also didn't work. They hurt me repeatedly and when I approached them about it, they refused to make any move toward changing. So, my reaction to all these bad love stories is to give up. I did for a while. I was trying and when I was in a relationship, I only was in it for the physical aspects. (Although those still seemed to break my heart)
Then, The Reason I Breathe happened. And he is WOW. A little over a month ago, I started seriously talking to a very great person on a message board. I had seen his posts and he had seen mine, we were both impressed with each other's values and ideas though we didn't know it at the time. It was a Saturday and we were both on the board in the morning. He added me to his IM and I was shocked. Within a few hours, I knew that he was very different than anyone else I know. He follows the same philosophy that I do, and he is very intelligent. I hoped that he was also as interested in me as I was him. Our conversation went on from very early in the morning and continued to late into the night, when he asked me to go to his brother's wedding as his date. I accepted immediately without considering the fact that he was in Virginia and I was in Oklahoma and that the wedding is in Missouri, ten hours away from here. Our conversations ranged through every subject, including love and past relationships. A few days later he admitted that he loved me. Although I had been thinking the same thing, I was shocked. I told him that I loved him too. We had a few phone conversations. They were intense. One night he said that he wanted to marry me someday. I wanted to marry him, too! (I had never thought that I would be completely confident in the fact that I wanted to spend my entire life with one person, let alone someone I had never seen) Over the next week we talked about our plans to meet. What was going to be a day turned into a few weeks, which turned into a month. Our possible marriage, which was an after he gets out of the navy or I get finished with college turned into a definite next May. He will be here in 8 days on August 1st, 4 days later is my birthday where he will *officially* propose. We will go to his family's town, where his brother will be married. Then, we will go back to Virginia, to spend the next few weeks together until he will have to go on a 6 month cruise. At that point I will come home and get our wedding plans started. We will be married on May 20, 2006.
We aren't sacrificing anything. I am with him because he makes me happy. I love him because he shares my values and feels the same as me on the important things. My love is conditional, I will only love him as long as he upholds the values I have come to appreciate him for. He feels the same about me. I would die for him, he would do the same for me. From the second I realized I was in love with him I also knew that now that I had found him, I couldn't imagine having to live without his love again. He is my future. My life with him could never be long enough. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him because I had to spend almost 21 years without him.
 kandi_queen · Mon Jul 25, 2005 @ 05:00am · 0 Comments |
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Why I think we should kill non-objective ideas |
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II was asked by a friend why religious ideas anger me when the religious people aren't hurting anyone by believing the way they do. Here is an answer I started to write. It's not finished.
You read a religious text, you have a personal interpretation of it (often your interpretation is influenced by the ideas of you church), you live according to what your interpretation is. Each person has a different interpretation based on their personal preferences. I remember once in high school where my whole entire youth group got into a very heated debate about one of Paul's letters, Romans, I think. I had an opinion, someone else disagreed, and by the time we finally gave up there were at least 8 different strong opinions about one passage. I went to several churches as a child. Most churches thought the other ones were hypocritical and wrong. Some religions have a literal interpretation of the bible, and live what may seem to others a very strict lifestyle. Other people see it as a more metaphorical guideline as how you should live your life, and are more open to change. If you just went by Christianity, there are tons of different groups with many different interpretations. Then you have to consider all the other religions, Muslim, Jewish, wiccan, Hindu, pagan. Allowing religion to have a deciding factor in morality doesn't work because so many religions have very different ideas on morality.
Religion only looks inward. We believe and think this and no one else is allowed an opinion. Religious people are the ones who oppose gay marriage, abortion, divorce, premarital sex, women's rights, and so many more things. You, even though you are opposing Objectivism as a philosophy based on the people that you have met that use it, are very objective in many of your personal ideas. You haven't chosen homosexuality for yourself, but you respect the rights of those that do. You don't think that they should be cut off from society and lose all of their rights because Leviticus 18:29 tells you so. Some religious people would say that you have no moral standards. You live a life that they don't agree with, you don't have moral opposition to things that they see as "wrong." My grandmother, although she would be very sweet to you if she saw you, would walk away and pray for you soul because you would be a sinner bound for hell. From what I know about you, you do have moral standards. You have very strong opinions on what is right and what is wrong. Now, where is the point where right becomes wrong? How do you determine what is right? Coin toss? "If it's heads, the rapist is the good guy." Of course not, you know that the rapist is immoral. Why do you think this? God didn't tell you, you didn't read it in the bible, yet you decided what was immoral. REASON. You used reason to determine that the rapist and the girl he raped are individuals. You know that as individuals, both were in control of their own actions. You can determine that the rapists actions violated the rights of the girl he raped.
You have mentioned that your father is a devout catholic at one point in this discussion. Yet, in other threads you have mentioned that you are on birth control. The catholic church is opposed to birth control, among many other things. However, your father looked beyond the his personal and religious beliefs, and accepted your lifestyle although it conflicted with his religious beliefs. He made the objective decision to contradict his personal belief system and tolerate your personal choices in lifestyle. He could have, using his religious prejudices, disowned you and never seen you again. He didn't, which is good. I'm sure that there are other issues that he is not too fond of. Things that you find perfectly acceptable are things that his religious preferences cause him to hate. If he is as devout in his religion as you've led me to believe, I'm willing to bet he is against gay marriage.
Religion restricts the rights of people to live as they wish. My grandmother is religious, she lives her life based on the bible. She says homosexuality is wrong, divorce is wrong, premarital sex is wrong, dating someone outside your race is wrong, and women having the same rights as men is wrong. These are all non-objective ideas. She justifies them by the bible. There are laws in this country that are justified by biblical text. The individual rights of men are denied in those cases. Two men who fall in love with each other cannot get married. It is a religious belief turned into law. Religion or society shouldn't dictate morality. Morality, for all people, should be based on facts. If it is not based on facts, you have morality based on the whim of predominate faith and feelings. As a culture evolves what was sinful one hundred years ago now seems commonplace and acceptable. If it is based on reason, people make judgements that are better for everyone. If you make everything, including laws, based on reason instead of emotion or personal preference and everyone respected the rights of individuals I wouldn't be opposed to people having personal religious beliefs. Having the fear, everyday, that someone will act irrationally because of religious belief somewhere and harm someone else causes me to be very leery of religion.
I said we should kill all non-objective ideas, I stand by that. If every Christian person, every Islamic person, every Jewish person, and so on, woke up one morning and thought "WOW! we are not the only religion." And they started to accept other people and their lifestyles and their beliefs and there was no animosity between any of them, I would be thrilled. Religion would not pose a threat to me. We could have a peaceful coexistence. Until that point, I'm going to hold the stance that religion restricts the rights of others to live their lives as they choose. Even Richard made friends with the Sisters that were on his side. I can be friendly to Christians that can see passed the bible and notice that the rest of the world has different beliefs than them and that they have a right to have those different beliefs.
kandi_queen · Sat Jul 16, 2005 @ 02:57am · 0 Comments |
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My letter to the state senators about eminent domain. |
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Bombs in London...Or my I HATE TERRORISTS RANT! |
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I woke up the other morning and heard about this travesty. The first thing I thought was "I hope Phoebe is ok" I have a really good friend that lives in London, so I logged onto the forum where I always talk to her and everyone was asking about her.
That was about 7 in the morning, she showed up at noon and said.
"well i WAS on on the train, but i was on one of the end carriages, it was packed! i was with one of my mates at the time. it was soooo scary, first there was this bang and the train kinda moved and then all the windows shatterd and the lights went off, it was kinda manic and scary. i was stuck there for 4 hours i only got home about 2 hours ago, apart from some cuts and scrapes im fine....little shocked and lucky i guess, but im fine, and so is everyone else i know."
We asked her if anyone she knew got hurt and she said
"oh god yeah! people fainted and people where going hysterical and panicking...i thought that is the worst thing to do, i know its hard not to. i saw someone lying down unconsioius (sp) in a growing pool of blood...it was horrible, so many injured people, i was lucky to get away with only a few cuts and quite a deep one on my arm. never been so scared in my life.
She also said
"also the G8 meeting was today, they were all up in scotland, and so was most of the security." and "when the train went on its side, and people started panicking really bad, they started to choke and suffocate on the smoke, if it wasnt for my friend being with me keeping me calm i would of panicked aswell, glad he was there to help me. it was just surreal and horrible experiance, the carraige next to mine had its roof torn off....glad i wasnt in that one."
It really scares me that someone I knew was involved. For all you Londoners, there are a lot of people over here worried about you. I'll keep you in my thoughts.
What makes me sick about all of this, is that there are people that think that we need to talk to them and "change their hearts" They think they hate us (us being western countries) because we aren't nice enough to them. I mean. GOSH, THEY'RE MAD AT US, WE MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING! Why on earth would you think that anyone was at fault but the ones who did it? Terrorists attack innocent people. Those people had nothing to do with their beef with England. They were just people on a train. The terrorists are the ones at fault. I propose we kill them, dead. No asking questions, no trial, once we know who they are we should get rid of them. Not give the apologetics enough time to start pissing and moaning about cruel and inhumane punishment. You want to hear about cruel and inhumane ask the people that got on a train and died, or got on a train and watched other people die. If I was to have any say in the matter I would have them blugeoned to death with a large blunt object. But, of course, that would be cruel and unusual. rolleyes
kandi_queen · Sat Jul 09, 2005 @ 12:45am · 1 Comments |
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"Give me liberty or give me death" Thoughts on rights |
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These are posts that I have made on message boards. I want to pull all my thoughts together in case I want to use what I said later. Random Subjects.
Gay people have rights. They should get the same rights as everyone else. No one should lose rights just because they don't fit in the "norm." I want everyone to be more tolerant of everyone else. No one deserves to be discriminated against because of how they feel toward another person.
How I see it is if someone feels strongly enough to burn a flag, let 'em. If you take that away, it is a loss of freedom. I don't want to lose any more individual rights. And if someone can take their aggressions out on a flag instead of shooting a bunch of people or blowing up a building, let them.
I think anyone should be able to walk around however they want. Topless...naked, it shouldn't matter. People have so many taboo's on so many subjects. Sex being one of them. Cast aside your puritan notions and do what you feel like doing. It's your body, and your life. If a person is naked it would be their fault if they were raped? No one has a right to initiate force on another person. Whether they are naked or not shouldn't matter. What you are saying is if a girl got raped because of what she was wearing, or not wearing, it would give the rapist a right to attack her. No person should ever be raped reguardless of what she wears.
I am 100% for individual rights. There is no such thing as the good of the public, or the greater good. What is the public but a collection of individuals, if you take away one person's rights, you are taking away american freedom.
Destroying or banning literature is never ok. We are entitled to free speech. I can understand why someone wouldn't put an adult novel into an elementary school library. But books shouldn't be banned because the content is controversial, especially in high school. When I was in school, I would get so angry because I would want to read something and they would keep taking them off the shelves. Our school was bad about banning books that parents complained about.
I think that abortions should be legal no matter what the case. I am completely pro-choice. The child would die without the mother. If the mother were to die, the fetus would die with her. Besides, the girls that couldn't get abortions would do dangerous stuff to try to get rid of it. They could really hurt themselves trying to give themselves a "home" abortion.
Everyone has their own opinions on where the line between good and evil lie. But, there is a definate line between good and evil. There are no contradictions, there is no gray area. The only evil is an initiation of force on another person. To force a person to believe, act or live as you want them to. Forcing them to have sex with you, forcing them to do anything, is evil. Everyone has a right to live as they choose. Their lives should not be dictated to them in anyway by another person or group of persons.
Hating Bush and the U.S. government gets you nowhere. If you want reform, do it. Start reforming from the inside out. There are many people who oppose Bush's ideas, I don't support all of his ideas, but I know that thinking "Bush sucks because ..." doesn't work. The only way is to change the U.S. is to change the people doing the voting. The president, whether you like it or not, is a reflection of the ideas and beliefs of a large majority of the country. So, if you want that changed, vote and make contributions to the candidate or party that you see eye to eye on. Complaining is useless and futile and does nothing for you or your country.
I don't think any drug should be illegal. Discouraged and frowned upon, yes. Illegal, no. What a person does with their own body is no one else's business. People need to learn to live and let live. I do, however, think certain restrictions should be placed on it, like no one should be allowed to drive while they have been smoking it. I don't care what you do to yourself, as long as no one else is in danger.
I think stem cell research is a good thing and should be persued as much as possible. I think it should be privately funded, but I think everything should be privately funded. However, since we absolutly must pay taxes I would be happier thinking that my taxes were going to a good cause such as stem cell research.
Just because someone feels that a person should be able to do what they want doesn't mean that they don't have codes and morals. They just aren't the same as yours. In the philosophy I live by a person can do whatever they want or wish to do as long as they don't initiate force on or harm another person in any way. And if you are the type of person who wants to kill their family with a butter knife, then you have proven that you do not value the rights of the individual and no longer have the right to life.
Artists deserve the same respect for their abilities just as everyone else deserves respect. A great author, or a stellar actor, or an amazing pianist should, IMO, get as much respect as any other profession.
What would you have us do? It's not like I can go to their house and give them 50 bucks. The U.S. puts tons of money into helping develop 3rd world countries. I know a lot of people that donate a large percentage of their paychecks to charities that sponsor children and such. I personally think that it is not our responsibility and that we need to worry more about the progress of our country and less about the others. I have, myself, sponsored children in suffering countries. But I don't think that it is my responsibility. If you want them to have better, make an effort, there are thousands of commercials on the television that say things like "For just pennies a day, you can save this kids life" If you want to change the world, do it. Don't just talk about it.
kandi_queen · Sat Jul 09, 2005 @ 12:37am · 0 Comments |
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Organized Theft: The tyranny of Eminent Domain |
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Where did he GO? My random thoughts on religion |
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I'm just saving some of my posts from various places. I want to remember some of the more poignant stuff, and some of the conversations I have. I may want to use it later. These are just blurbs about religion and god and a little on morality
Funny thing about faith is, no one can prove themselves right and others wrong. I am atheist, and I base my beliefs on what I can prove. Therefore, from the evidence and knowledge I am given, they are not right. I always tolerate other people's belief systems. I think that a religious person has every right to have whatever beliefs that they want. I will tell them my thoughts and we can discuss it. But I understand when someone wants to believe in mysticism. I believed in it for years.
I am an atheist, so when I say the pledge, I say "one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all" I believe in what this country stands for. Our country was built for freedom, freedom from theocracy and from tyranny, those are the values that I salute when I salute the flag.
I am an atheist. I became an atheist after I started studying Objectivism. I have no reason to believe in a deity. I have no time for mysticism or mythology. If I were to have proof of god's existence like a toenail clipping or something, I would believe. However I still wouldn't follow the god of the bible. He is depicted as a tyrant and I don't support tyranny.
Flag salute-I occasionally say most of it. I always leave out the under god part. It shouldn't be in there in the first place, it was only added in the 50's. The pledge didn't have that in there to begin with. I stand by what the flag means. When our founding fathers started this country they wanted to get away from the tyranny of theocracy, they wanted liberty and justice for all. And that alone is why I say the pledge. I want to see those ideals that the founding fathers found important enough to have a revolt and a war upheld.
I am an atheist. As I would never allow someone to force me to have faith in mythology, I would never allow anyone to force those people to give up their myths. Some people need that comfort of believing that there is some deity out there watching over us. I find more it more comforting to think that my life in this world is not some test. If everyone were to suddenly choose to denounce all faith in any form of diety, all things mystical, mythical and supernatural, there would still be wars and still be fights. People would still have different ideals. There would still be people that would want to rule others by force, and those that love freedom and liberty would still stand up against them.
I am not religious. I am an atheist, and an objectivist. I believe in freedom, liberty and individual rights, and yes, I would die for it.
Everyone has their own opinions on where the line between good and evil lie. But, there is a definate line between good and evil. There are no contradictions, there is no gray area. The only evil is an initiation of force on another person. To force a person to believe, act or live as you want them to. Forcing them to have sex with you, forcing them to do anything, is evil. Everyone has a right to live as they choose. Their lives should not be dictated to them in anyway by another person or group of persons.
I'm not really fond of the term Atheist. Because people who believe in god think it means "there is a god and you don't believe in him" If I am asked I say "I am not religious. I do not put faith in mysticism, mythology, or the supernatural." It, IMO, says exactly what I mean much better and leaves no doubt as to my feelings on the subject of religion.
I was a devout christian for a very long time, I was even planning on being a missionary. It took me a while, but I realized that my life is my own and I can't allow my choices to be dictated to me by a diety that has yet to prove his existence. If god were real I still would have issues and wouldn't follow him because the biblical god is a tyrant, and I don't support tyranny. I live my life by a strict code of morals and values. I don't need the fear of a god to be a moral person. Some people find it more comforting to believe that there is more out there and we aren't alone. I find it more comforting to believe that this isn't just a test created for us by a cruel deity. There are too many things that are unexplainable. If I were given proof of god's existence I would believe, but I still wouldn't follow his lead.
kandi_queen · Sat Jul 09, 2005 @ 12:15am · 0 Comments |
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