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Lots of things have happened since my last post.

1) I'm not dating anyone.

2) I was in a relationship for almost three months before I broke it off. It was with my friend's brother. It didn't end to well.

3) Ha, i'm finally 17



Lets see... what has sparked my interest as of late?

Yesterday I went to go see They Said We Were Ghosts, The Hollywood something or other i don't remember, and a couple of bands that I don't know the names of. The concert was at Rockettown up in Nashville, and it was pretty fun. I went with Jake, Will, And Joe Sabin. It was awesome, there were costumes everywhere for people who didn't want to pay another two dollars to get in (that would be me!). It was rather annoying though because my costume was a really crappy dress. I was going to wear it for Halloween, but I don't think it'll last that long. It went through hell yesterday.
There were some pretty hot guys there though.. when I could tell them apart from the chicks. I have never seen so many guys in girl pants. it was quite humorous.

Lets see, what else?

My mom might have breast cancer. It sucks, and I really don't know what to think about it. I know it's not nearly as fatal as it could be since the technology has grown so much, but it still gets on my mind. She's only 35.... then it doesn't help that it's genetic. >_<
I'm already afraid of what I might get. I'm pretty sure I'm bi-polar, and I think I already have a couple of stomach ulcers and heart problems. Nice, isn't it? I'm not a hypochondriac however, thank you.

School is going okay, i guess. I have a 2.8 GPA, something I haven't gotten since I was back in California. I've got to get a 3.0 to make me happy... i'm so close >_< God I'm such a nerd..

I'm hoping to get a Job at Barnes and Noble. I submitted my application on Wensday and now I'm just waiting for a phone call.. god i hope they call. >_<

As for my love life, there is none. I'm not too thrilled about being single, but I do want to be more picky with the people I chose. And hopefully i can get passed this three month mark that I have. Oh well. There are a couple of guys that have attracted my attention, Dylan, Keleo, and Quin. But, Keleo is taken and I doubt that I actually would end up dating either Quin or Dylan. And the one guy that my parents absolutely love happens to be my best friend's boyfriend. Joy.

My dad is supposed to move out here and I can't wait until then. I really hope that it's really soon... sooner then the first of the year like he hopes. I don't know, i haven't talked to him in like a month. Apparently it makes him sad to talk to me on the phone... makes me sad too. I miss him and my friends so much back out in California. Hopefully Krista will be able to come out for Christmas. It'd be the first time I see her since June.

I guess this is about it for now. Nothing else has really peaked my interest, so yeah.

Love to you all
Meep

Alright, so yeah... Again, time for an update.

A)Me and Ryan broke up about 2 months ago, and frankly I could care less.

B)I like someone else (finally, it's been two months. lol). His name is Dylan... oddly the name of my brother too.

C)I want to date him but I'm afraid to ask. He's had a hard time with his Ex whose practically stalking him now by phone, and he already had a phobia of dating.

D)My friend Tiffany is trying to hook me up with her brother. O.O; He wants to go to the movies sometime. XD

E)My friend Ben likes me too. He's asked me out twice now. I've said no both times and I feel bad because if anything, I think his best friend is hot. O.o;

Okie. I fell all caught up now without explaining s**t. Wheee!
So yeah. I have no idea if I want to do tattoos or not anymore like I thought I did there for a while. Lately i've been feeling s**t about myself, don't ask my why, it's a moodswing I guess. I don't feel like i'm good enough for Dylan or really anyone at the moment, therefore my art is of course lacking. I feel like I suck at art and that I shall never get better. Maybe its the 4 Dr. Peppers talking at the moment, i don't know.
I wish i could just have the courage to actually TELL Dylan I like him. I think he knows, but we both have figured that neither of us can make the first move. I want the courage to actually be able to, but I can't when I'm feeling this shitty about myself. I don't know why I do-i've already said this, oh well-especially today when I got called gorgeous by Tiffany's brother-whose actually my age.
...
I really want my cellphone. I'm getting one in two weeks. I just have to babysit for it. And that part kinda sucks. Damn. I'm going to be sick of my sisters by the time I leave in a week.
I got to go Canoeing for the first time and I had a blast. I just injured myself in the process is all. Actually, I injured myself getting out of it at the very end. I'm very Graceful. Not. Pfft. Yeah, here's the picture. . Isn't it nice and purty? lol. So yeah. I guess we're all going again in September. Whoo! The water is going to be ******** freezing.
But maybe Dylan can go. XD He wasn't able to go last week, so that kinda sucked. But I got to sleep with him. and not like that. clothes remained on. I just slept next to him on the floor. he's a very interesting person to sleep next to as he talks and is a violent dreamer. XD But then again... so am I. Just as long as I can actually FALL asleep. So yeah.
I don't know what else to put.
I guess school is starting back up July 29th or something. Gay. But that means I get to spend time with friends. It just sucks that I made friends with a lot of Seniors last year. But It also means that Im a Senior this year! Yay! excitement.
Oh! That means another thing.
I've lived in Tennessee now for a full year. I realized this on the 28th. Which is not only the day that i moved here but it's also Dylan's birthday. Go figure. XD I've been talking about him a lot, haven't I? Oh well. No one reads these things anyways. XD I just do it for my own amusement. razz
I think i'm done now.
Yeah... I am.

Alight... it's time to get it all out.

But I need an Update on this thing first.

A) me and Will broke up like... 4 months ago...

B) I dated my best friend here for 3 weeks before he went back to his ex girlfriend and now they're dating.

C) I'm dating one of my ex's girlfriends friends. Lol. try and figure that one out... but his name is Ryan

D) We've been dating for almost three months now.

E) I couldn't be happier...when i'm with him... without him.. life sucks. You'll see why

Alright. Got it? Good.

Lately... my mom has been hassling me uncontrollably. It's driving me insane. She thinks everything i say is negative and is to put down my brother. We were in the car driving home from Kentucky (about a 4 hour car drive) and I had said something, i don't remember but I'm sure it wasn't even about Dylan and my mom goes: "I swear if you said anything nice at all I might have a heart attack." I told this to my step mom and she said that really nothing I say is negative, because even when I rant like this I smile and laugh. But seriously... it's driving me insane.
And she's been getting on my nerves about this whole church thing. Ironically I'm a little "Goth" Girl who lives in the Bible Belt of Tennessee. I don't go to church, i'm Agnostic and i don't care too much for religion in fact, and I express that freely. I don't like people who go around trying to force their beliefs on everyone else. And the dress code at my school bothers me. We're not allowed to wear anything "Satanic" a.k.a. anything that has skulls or something on it. Yet people can go around wearing T-shirts that talk about god and all of that. It just bothers me. But me and Mom and Dylan and my sister were at the airport and my sister tossed me a pamphlet that said something like "Do you have god in your life?" and we laughed about it and my mom goes: "I'm surprised you didn't burst into flames". I was like... WTF.... I'm not going to start yelling about people leaving those pamphlets around and I'm not going to freak out about it either. I just state my opinion when it relates to me... that pamphlet had nothing to do with me. She's just been driving me insane like that.
And then she keeps accusing me of having Sex with Ryan. She's not totally wrong... but she doesn't need to know that. Not yet. But nonetheless.... I haven't acted any different around her about the subject, it still makes me blush like mad and stammer. But still... she keeps accusing Ryan and me of it and she keeps accusing Ryan of things. Like I was seriously grounded from my step-mom's house because she would let Ryan stay the night or stay to at least 3 a.m in the morning. Okay. My mom would go to bed at nine so he would leave or we would be out till 11 or so. My step mom stays up later till about 3. Thats when he would leave. There is no difference there! It's driving me insane. That and she doesn't want me to ride in the car with him anymore because she thinks his driving isn't safe. It's not like I'm fearing for my life everytime i get into the car with him or something. Granted he does drive a little fast, but yeah... so? Like I said, i've never thought we were going to crash or anything. It's stupid. And especially because I don't have my permit yet, that just means I'd be stuck at the house. And Me and Ryan both don't want to be stuck at the house because of my little brother who decides that it's the perfect time to go and bug big Sissy and her boyfriend until they litterally pick him up by the feet and drag him out of the room becuase he wont listen. Yeah... it's annoying. So we want to get out of the house and have some fun. But If I can't go in the car with him and i can't drive, what the hell am I supposed to do. That's why i broke up with Will. I'd never be able to see him, and because Ryan doesn't go to Spring Hill, he graduated already, When am i supposed to see him? I trust his driving better than my other friends... and he's been driving longer then my other friends. Am I supposed to ask my mom for a ride to wherever I wanna go when she hates to drive just to go to the mall? And by the time I get into the car with Ryan, we still have no idea where we're going... we just call someone up and see if they wanna hang out. So I don't know what i'm supposed to do about that. It's gay. It's a no win situation right now. And I'm beginning to think that even though my mom let me date him in the beginning she's almost trying to come up with ways to seperate us. WTF.

I don't know why she would wanna do that though. Granted he's 19 and I'm 16, but she has even said it herself that he is good for me. He makes me happy.... I've even told him before that I don't think i've ever been as happy as when I'm with him. I do honestly love him.

Then there was the whole Christine/Ryan thing that went on. I had heard it from Taylor... and lately, she too is pissing me off. Christine is a friend even though she supposedly cheated with Taylor's boyfriend, Joe in the back of Ryan's Car. Apparently they were really drunk and hot and took off their clothes... bad situation yes... but Taylor has Joe believing that he actually had sex with her. I asked Christine about it and she said that taylor is still threatening her and it's starting to freak her out. Christine even said that she was willing to tell Taylor that yes they did have sex, just so Taylor will leave her the ******** alone and stop threatening her. Taylor has been bugging me because of it. She threatened Christine because Christine is going to end up working at Wendy's with Joe. Okay... SO WHAT?! It's not like they're going to go have sex in the parking lot or something. I believe Christine has at least more respect for herself than that. and With what Taylor told another friend of mine, she's really starting to start some s**t just because her relationship is going bad. I'm not worried about Ryan and Christine having sex... I trust Ryan and I think that when taylor told me they did, that she was just trying to get me to hate Christine too. I honestly think that. not because I'm blinded by love and in denial.... I've asked him about it and he too thinks Taylor is being a b***h. Actually.. he flat out told her that. Though she took it the wrong way saying that he called her a b***h and that he threatened her. She told Joe and Joe yelled at Ryan. So Ryan is being forced to apologize to Taylor, which I dunno if he has done yet. I doubt it though. Lol. And I really don't think that he did anything with Christine because when this whole thing came up with joe and Taylor and taylor saying Ryan called her a b***h, Christine complained to Ryan about it and he didn't like that. He was willing to break off all ties with Christine, Taylor and Joe. and I doubt if there was anything going on, that he would be that willing to do that.
I don't know... this whole thing just pisses me off and makes me mad. I try not to think about it but it's hard because I see Taylor sometimes on the bus. Though last time she was on the bus she didn't say a word to me. Whatever. I don't care. Not anymore.
JUST EVERYONE GET THE ******** OUT OF EVERYONES BUSINESS. biggrin easy as that.

...To these journals. I could never keep up with one in a notepad or a journal/diary thing.. but this I might be able to keep up with.... cool.

Alright. Not much has been happening. Homecoming came and passed... I found out THAT Day of homecoming that it wasn't formal. (because the football game is right before the dance), and I spent at least 160$ for the dress and accessories and crap like that... Ah well.. apparently the snowball is supposed to be formal so i'll just wear it to that.. it's really cute though! lol. whee
The following wensday, after homecoming, i was asked out by a friend of mine, Will Love, and I said yes. 4laugh Hehehe... so I am no longer single and I'm very happy. I actually went over to his house last friday and tried playing Halo 2.... which... i found out... i REALLY suck at it... lol. Ah well... But the week after homecoming, we had that friday off and then we had 2 weeks off for fall break. I think i nearly went insane.
My family and I had some visitors from Arizona, my mom's friend and my brother's best friend from preschool. After a few days it was alright but then by I think the fourth day it got really annoying. Apparently the little 6 year old liked me.. >_<. And then... like the day before they leave i found out that my next door neighbor (he scares me... he's 13- I just turned 16! n__n- a foster kid and we don't know WHY he's a foster kid, likes to play with my 5 year old brother in his room with the door LOCKED, and stole at least 60 dollars from my brother also) likes me also. It scares me actually.... But yeah... creepy-ness.

I AM SO HAPPY! I found out a couple of days ago that my dad (he still lives in Cali) is coming on Nov. 4-7th to come and visit! i'm really excited. His bands are going well and soon they might be able to make commercials and play them on Programs like Fuse and stuff... i'm really excited. he's also bringing his 5 string bass and giving it to me... i just have to learn how to play it now! razz (for those of you that don't know me personally, my dad is in 2 Sacramento, California local death metal bands... it's awesome. The link is: http://www.mucusmembrane.com (Just to be sure.... i'm not one of those people who exaggerates the truth or makes things up like this just to be liked... He even has a myspace for all of you that don't believe! lol, i'm just wanting to make sure that i'm not made out to be like a liar or something). That link is to Mucus Membrane (my dad plays bass). They have a record label to Hammermill records. I don't know if the second band has a link or not, but it's called Kuru. from what i can remember, they've been around for a bit, though i don't think that they have a label yet. On the Mucus site, you can also check out their music and download it or whatever. It sounds freakin' awesome.

Yeah... I think that's enough rambling seeing how i'm slightly going braindead and can't remember anything else that's happened. My Fall break was pretty lame because I really didn't do anything.. but yeah... that's about all the news I got! (like anyone reads these anyways.... I would gladly liked to be proved wrong, but eh, whatever, lol)

Hey look! it's ME! Wow... i've really changed a lot. I'll have to scan my old ID card from last year and show y'all lol... it's REALLY funny the difference....

In my last entry i stated that I had just moved here. Well.. not it's september and school has been in full swing for about 2 months now. Homecoming is next week and such and report cards are even coming out soon. I now attend Spring Hill Highschool as a Junior. I'm only fifteen (I'm turning sixteen october 9th), and I feel like a freshman, lol. Probably because they're the same age as me, lol. Nah, not really, but that's how it feels. And for once, i'm one of the shortest people there, lol, i'm only 5'5''. I really like this school, even though it has some weird stuff at it. Like the guys here... lol. I'm used to being picked on a lot. I was the weird one at my last school and now here, not even a month after i move here, i get a boyfriend lol. Well... after about a month or so going out we broke up.. no big deal. But so yeah, now i'm single.. lol. an I don't mind. He was my first boyfriend ever and now I know how it is... I like it. Lol. but not to the point to where I'm desperate and s**t like that. I'm not a desperate chick looking to get screwed. I've never done drugs and i've never done alcohol (even though most of the people I tell they don't believe me, probably because i'm always so hyper, lol).. an the reason why i say that is because everyone but like 5 people at my school including me does drugs. In one way or another... they all do drugs. lol.
School is going really good which leads me to an issue. Do I want to move back home to California and go back to my last school, Mira Loma? Or do I want to stay here, Graduate here with my newfound friends and tell all the ones back in California that I pretty much lied to them, saying that I was going to come back but now I don't want to? Whats worse is that some of my friends back in California i've known since the fourth grade. Most of them i've known since 7th and they are some of the greatest friends I have. but now I have to make new friends here, which I found I've done really easy. I have Easily about 30 friends, though most of them are acquantance friends, a lot of them arent. But yeah.. that's my rambling for the day.. just though I might update this even though most people don't read em.

~Miranda Rae~

Alrighty... I've just moved like a week ago from California and such to *gasp* Tennesse. it's quite nice here actually... though I know absolutely know one... yay! I think... anyhow. Not much has happened since then. I did go to Kentucky to visit family for the fourth of July but other then that, (besides, I did catch about 12 fish! n___n) not much has happened. Soooo.. yeah

~Rae~

Crap has been happening a lot... stare And well.. it sucks. And and and! I have a new hatred for Freshman.. well.. most anyways. They throw things at me... FOR NO REASON! Okay, seriously, I'm not the kind of person who says I didn't do anything when in fact I ran over there and laughed at them all... no... seriously.. I did NOTHING! Stupid Anime haters. I had a beanie on the first time, it was a Fruits Basket Beanie, and I was just standing there.. then poof! A meatball sub was tossed and hit my leg... thank god it didn't get on my coat. stressed I Vill Shoot them. Jackasses....
The only thing I can think of that would have gotten them mad was the friday before christmas break. Me and my friends were singing the Twelve Days of Christmas (*with a yam!*) and all of the sudden, hacky sack flies right by my head. So, angrily, my friend picked it up and ran with it... kind of stupid, but yeah....
THAT WAS 3 WEEKS AGO!
Seriously... I haven't done anything since then, and I didn't do anything then. And to me, that isn't the worst of it. I mean, i know i'm not the hottest thing on two legs, but i'm not ugly either. What I mean, is that I wont be doing anything, just walk passed them and they grimace and go, "EWWW!" and say crap like "don't look at me!" And such... much crap really... but it's really bothering me. I don't even know these people!!!!

And... just this last weekend... crap ensues....
Our Car was Stolen.
So... Great! That's my complaining first post... boring, probably... but.. it does help to get it out! n___n

~Rae~

P.S. GODDAMN IT! THEY STOLE MY CAR!